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Snow-topped mountain

First, get yourself some really dry skin on your head… like, really dandruff the fuck out of it. Don’t wash, or wash too much: whatever does it for you.

Next: find a female (sorry, this requires a female).

Next step: go down on her.
What you do down there really doesn’t matter. Go ahead and suck, lick, tease; bite if that’s her thing. What’s important is to ensure as much of that old, dead, flaky head skin ALL OVER her mound, thus transforming it into a snow-topped mountain.
Me: Karen, get this

I didn’t drink for days and I didn’t wash my shampoo out for fucking weeks. I went down on this dirty bint the other day with my psoriasis scalp and fuck me, when I was done, she had the biggest snow-topped mountain I’ve ever made.

Karen: Nice. Nice.
by Wow bruh August 20, 2021
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American Muffin Top

Even more severe English muffin top, where there is so much flab that it is impossible for the woman to look at her vagina and in more severe cases (if that's possible) it can even prevent sex. It is often said that if you hug a woman with an American muffin top she will always love you.
Bill: Hey, you see that girl with a muffin top.
Ben: American muffin top, yes
Bill Yeah, I heard that Jack hugged her!
Ben So that's why I see them snogging over there
Bill:... *stares with mouth open*
by Mumble October 13, 2012
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Tallahassee top hat

The act of folding the testicles above the shaft for a more aggressive and complex appearance. Alternatively known in Europe as the Irish weather balloon.
After spotting a mountain lion on the hiking trail , I immediately produced a Tallahassee top hat. The wildcat was discouraged and immediately left the area .
by The Brazen Bandit January 18, 2023
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top shelf redneck

A redneck with expensive taste. I.e. drives a beater car but owns a TV worth 3 times as much. Wears jeans from Walmart but drinks a $40 pour at the bar.
He drives a car held together with duct tape and prayers while drinking high dollar whiskey and watching Nascar on an 83 inch 4k TV. He is a top shelf redneck
by anonymous February 4, 2023
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mountain top ted

When she give you a blowjob and pulls your balls up. As you cum your mountain top gets cum on it and drips over like an avalanche.
I was with this chick last night and as she was blowing me she gave me a mountain top ted and then she used her finger like a skier going down the mountain!
by pertygolfer January 5, 2023
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barber shop top

A top you wear when going to the barbers/hairdressers as you don't want your nice tops filled with hair
Hannah: Why's that tool wearing such a dead top.
Tom: Nah 'low him that's his barber shop top
by I'm sooo boredOMG July 25, 2017
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alaskan top hat

When a gay man stretches another gay mans foreskin over the top of his own head
Man Cory and Hayden gave each other Alaskan top hats all night
by Shocker83 June 17, 2018
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