Crumpet Snalls

a crumpet of snalls
by Crumpet snallus April 30, 2021
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Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.
"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."
by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023
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Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.
Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.
by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023
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Crumpet muncher

Crumpet muncher is a similar term to “curry muncherthe difference is it’s a insult to the British
by Ismellmymic February 21, 2021
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Crumpet Muncher

Remember when we threw those fucking crumpet munchers' tea into the Boston harbor.
by Npet2301 April 13, 2022
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Crumpet ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."
by lemlemlem March 15, 2018
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Steamed Crumpet

Dropping a juicy, ripe, musky turd in the gym steam room, cranking the heat and then heading for the showers.
It was as if a demon had sucked the air out of old Dorian’s lungs when he stepped into the steam room and was over come by the vaporous fog of Cedric’s steamed crumpet.
by Dick Onchin February 06, 2023
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