certified munch

Someone who is a slave to the bitches.

Brian is a certified munch

by Phat boy Nelson May 8, 2023

Certified Freak

A prostitute or a woman who possesses the traits of a prostitute.

Yo Wendy is a certified freak! She rode dat dik reverse cowboy!

by HASHITRON September 3, 2016

Certified Jackass

A person who consistently acts like a dumbass but thinks of himself as a smartass. A certified Jackass may never be thankful, no matter how nice someone has been to him.

In other words, a Certified Jackass is someone who shows traits of a Jackass on a regular basis.

Person: I left you an a treat on your desk
Certified Jackass: Does that mean you are ass kissing me now?
Person: Great! So instead of thanking, you are going to be a Certified Jackass that you are!

by Smurf with Blue Eye Liner June 16, 2012

Certified Hipster

A person who follows the latest trends and fashions; being outside the cultural mainstream.

Angie Zarate is, what many call, a certified hipster.

by philomela March 14, 2015

Certified Funny

this is funny, trust me

Wait for it, I think we just hit it. This is certified funny

by Pieceofshit43 May 6, 2020

certified stfu moment

when you prove someone they are so wrong they aren't replying back.

(inspired by the certified hood classic meme)

Person A: You saw the photo of the doe sacrificing herself to save her offspring from tigers?
Person B: Yes, what about it? and it is not a doe it is an antelope, and the two other animals are cheetahs.
Person A: Ah yes you must be so smart, and what's the difference?

Person B: They don't live in the same environment, moreover the doe has a chance to outrun a tiger, a cheetah goes twice its speed.

Person A: (does not reply)

-> This is a certified stfu moment

by Take my JEJ March 22, 2023

certified bag chaser

Someone’s who’s always chasing that bag relentlessly

Jesse: AYO I think I’m a certified bag chaser?
Jeremy: nah ur cappin
Jesse: nah fr bro, I do decks, concrete and Christmas lights
Jeremy: aight u are not only a fucking certified bag chaser, you’re the JACK of all trades holy shit
Jesse: told you bro, gotta get GTA 6 for my menacing son

by Anonymous1946373 July 26, 2023