The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025
Get the Self-Blumpkin Techniquemug. A portmanteau of technology and antiquity. Techniquity is used to refer to technological antiques, especially those no longer in use or circulation. It can also be applied to periods of time.
The Atari 2600 is a techniquity.
Most of the so-called revolutionary technological inventions of the 1980s would be considered techniquities by today's standards.
Most of the so-called revolutionary technological inventions of the 1980s would be considered techniquities by today's standards.
by Zweihander-FA September 19, 2009
Get the Techniquitymug. The act of masturbating while naked to the point of an orgasm then not cleaning up afterwards to fall asleep quickly.
by AverageWhiteGuy2319 May 25, 2023
Get the Forbidden Sleep Techniquemug. The act of putting a kazoo in a girls mouth while cracking a raw egg in her pussy and fucking her hard until its unbearable
Boy 1- Yo, bro, i got invited to Janet's house yesterday!
Boy 2- How'd it go?
Boy 1- I thought it was going to be a normal night, then she pulled out a kazoo, and I knew we were going to do The Cosmic Birdo Technique!
Boy 2- How'd it go?
Boy 1- I thought it was going to be a normal night, then she pulled out a kazoo, and I knew we were going to do The Cosmic Birdo Technique!
by Min0$c0in August 6, 2024
Get the The Cosmic Birdo Techniquemug. The technique of running away so fast that you manage to outrun a stone mask enhanced hamon user so that your grandfather's best friend survives after a 7 foot tall man with long as fuck hair tries to kill humanity.
"My ultimate technique"
"Oh no..... it can't be the one I'm thinking of... please say it's not"
"Not the Jojo technique"
"RUUUUUUNN!"
"Oh no..... it can't be the one I'm thinking of... please say it's not"
"Not the Jojo technique"
"RUUUUUUNN!"
by Jutora Cooju August 16, 2020
Get the jojo techniquemug. A very rare technique used in handjobs, most women dont know. Usually handjobs arent great , but the doorknob makes it great. It's a method of using all 5 digits and twisting and screwing the head of the penis with lube of some sort. It looks like someone trying to open a doorknob with a greasy hand. Feels amazing.
by Mcgwicko May 24, 2021
Get the the doorknob techniquemug. (Derek's Goon Technique) An individual by the name of Derek Pulls down his zipper and exposes they're penis in the middle of class and yells "Derek!" then pulls down his pants with no shame to fully reveal the size of it, usually in the presence of females.
by hatsunemikuloverboy_1fan February 11, 2025
Get the Derek's Goon Techniquemug.