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Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.
I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.
by sproates April 29, 2021
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fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast
john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank
by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021
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Wank Breathing

Similar to breathing styles in Demon Slayer: Wank Breathing is controlling your breathing so you can wank quietly without breathing heavily.

This style of breathing is utilized when a young male lives with others, but still must get one out.
“Wank Breathing, Second Form: 5 Stroke Finish!”
by w0n_t0n June 2, 2021
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wank socket

Oh I'd love to have a go of that wank socket
by TRIGGBLOKE June 4, 2021
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Danger wank

The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, The queen,gingers,. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
Yo is that the queen
‘Pulls down pants’
What are you doing

Poping a danger wank
by Archied June 7, 2021
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Wank nozzle

Wank nozzle, a term used as a synonym for ‘dick’ or ‘dickhead’.
Ugh that boy is such a wank nozzle
by PigmentedPlum June 10, 2021
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Vain wank

Wanking while getting off by looking at yourself in the mirror instead of at porn.
He was so in love with himself that instead of looking at porn he had a vain wank.
by JakeShears June 17, 2021
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