A niche but potent subgenre of chapstick lesbian characterized by soft masculinity/futch energy, trauma, and a constant state of intellectual and nutritional collapse. She’s tired, malnourished, mildly radioactive (in spirit), and knows too much about both poetry and nuclear fallout.
Wears oversized coats she found in a secondhand bin labeled “ARMY.”
Has under-eye circles that could be mistaken for makeup but aren't.
Smokes cigarettes or snusar while explaining why she doesn’t believe in hope but still recycles.
Cites Karin Boye, Anna Akhmatova, and maybe Schopenhauer on the first date.
Core traits include, but are not limited to,
- Quiet desperation
- Deep anti-authoritarianism
- Obsession with ecological collapse
- A strange mix of tenderness and toxicity (sometimes lovebombs)
- A queer, bleak sense of humor that would concern most therapists.
Emotionally: she’s a tragic Slavic film from 1976.
Aesthetically: post-apocalyptic futch.
Politically: anti-fascist, vaguely socialist.
Wears oversized coats she found in a secondhand bin labeled “ARMY.”
Has under-eye circles that could be mistaken for makeup but aren't.
Smokes cigarettes or snusar while explaining why she doesn’t believe in hope but still recycles.
Cites Karin Boye, Anna Akhmatova, and maybe Schopenhauer on the first date.
Core traits include, but are not limited to,
- Quiet desperation
- Deep anti-authoritarianism
- Obsession with ecological collapse
- A strange mix of tenderness and toxicity (sometimes lovebombs)
- A queer, bleak sense of humor that would concern most therapists.
Emotionally: she’s a tragic Slavic film from 1976.
Aesthetically: post-apocalyptic futch.
Politically: anti-fascist, vaguely socialist.
She's chain-smoking by the train tracks reading Death in Venice. God, I think I just spotted a Chernobyl lesbian in the wild.
by Raquiesha July 14, 2025
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Lesbian: okay.
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It is known for a serious temper that can scare the most dominant species into immediate submission.
At the same time it has the grace and presence that draws attention from admiring passers by.
The Lesbian Warthog is renowned for its distinctive snort and growl. There is truly no noise like it.
It also possesses a strike that has been likened to the gravitational force of 1000 simultaneously collapsing suns.
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It is known for a serious temper that can scare the most dominant species into immediate submission.
At the same time it has the grace and presence that draws attention from admiring passers by.
The Lesbian Warthog is renowned for its distinctive snort and growl. There is truly no noise like it.
It also possesses a strike that has been likened to the gravitational force of 1000 simultaneously collapsing suns.
If you encounter a Lesbian Warthog caution is advised. Many have become entranced by the hypnotic movements of the Lesbian Warthog and enchantment can result in paralysis.
by SomeonePlebb November 13, 2025
Get the Lesbian Warthog mug.