Bathing with Jesus

A phrase used to counter complete and utter bullshit. Used to call out someone's lie without stating the obvious. Passive-aggressive in nature.

Weaselly friend: (On the phone, obviously home alone geeking out to the commentary on his recently purchased Battlestar Galactica special edition box set) Hey man, I'm throwing a sick party. Gonna be a ton of chicks.

You: Sorry man, I'm busy bathing with Jesus.

Bathing with Jesus by MG Lambo June 12, 2014

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 

The Reinstated Preferred name for Mormons as of October 2018.

Person 1: Hey... You're a Mormon!
Person 2: *Sigh* No... We are Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints by FungusHughMungus October 29, 2018

What would Jesus do? 

A phrase used by over enthusiastic Christians when things go wrong, where they work out, what Jesus, son of God would do if he was in your situation, forgetting that they can't do anything that Jesus can do.

Guy: My wife ran away with Judd, I lost my job and now i can't feed my 5000 kids! What would Jesus do?!

Guy 2: Probably use his magic powers to smite the traitor and feed the 5000 kids with a loaf of bread and half a fish...

Guy: Awww shit...

What would Jesus do? by Riot_man April 26, 2010

lord tunderin jesus

a term people from Newfoundland and Labrador or Halifax would use as an overwhelming statement like they have just seen, done or heard something amazing like "oh my god" or "holy crap"

person 1 "lord tunderin jesus i just got a job"

person 2 "no way dear by how did you do it"

lord tunderin jesus by billiam_269 May 20, 2009

Who Would Jesus Bomb? 

A phrase most often seen on bumper stickers and t-shirts, it is a variation of the often heard "What Would Jesus Do?" slogan.

The phrase points out the obvious hypocrisy of Christians who support wars, particularly those wars that bomb innocent civilians and create a great deal of collateral damage.

The logic works as follows;
1) Jesus was a pacifist, and taught his followers to be as such. ("turn the other cheek," "love thy enemy," etc.)
2)Christians live by the teachings of Christ.
3)Many, though not all, Christians are the first to support the invasion of other countries, and are, therefore, not acting in a pacifist manner.
4)These Christians are in direct contradiction of the teaching's of Jesus.
5)These Christians (the war mongering Christians) are hypocrites.

In a word, the rejection of war-mongering Christian Conservatism.

Pat Robertson is driving behind a hippie, and see's a bumper sticking asking, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?" Mr. Robertson immediately realizes that he has been in contradiction of his most profound religious beliefs (Christianity) and drives into a wall in shame.

Who Would Jesus Bomb? by myoldways April 10, 2009

B'jesus 

Irish term, to be startled.

She crept up behind me and scared the B'jesus out of me.

B'jesus by black flag May 31, 2004

Cockblocked by Jesus 

When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.

Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.

Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus

Cockblocked by Jesus by bombus August 18, 2010