big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.
He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.
by Mackem Beefy September 20, 2021
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administrative wank

A wank used to simply relieve stress, boredom, or to simply helping with going to sleep
After a good day's work nothing gets you in a relaxed mood better than an administrative wank!
by Hipernova8 March 23, 2024
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Administrative Wank

A wank whose motivation is not related to being horny, used to go to sleep, stave boredom or relieve stress
After a hard day's work, nothing relaxes me more than an administrative wank!
by Hipernova8 March 28, 2024
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Wank Jam

The inevitable product of a 5 knuckle shuffle.

Delicious jam or preservative made with the bi-product of spanking the monkey
"Stroked the salami last night and got wank jam everywhere"

"Do we have anything to put on toast?"
"Just a bit of wank jam left in the cupboard."

"Spilled so much wank jam In my gfs mouth she went full angry on me!"
by Kik455 April 08, 2022
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Tribunal Wank

When three guys stand in the formation of a triangle and each put one of there hands left and the other to the right, and then suddenly everyone there is getting a double handjob
Nice soccer match guys, let’s go home and have a Tribunal Wank!
by Calabina October 27, 2020
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diversity wanking

When firms take diversity issues to the next level and get off on hiring transsexuals and other LGBTQ+ people.
Did you hear about that bank recruiting event only for transsexuals? Yeah, that is diversity wanking.
by peter gazer January 12, 2018
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wank in church

The act of masturbating in a church or any other religious setting.
What did you do this weekend?
I had a wank in church.
Ok...
Yeah, the priest wasn't too happy but he saw a choir boy and did the same.
by Baconwound August 09, 2022
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