The Human Version of a Golden Retriever

A person who makes everyone around them happy, does not do anything particularly complicated or stressful, elicits a smile on the faces of others upon the mere mention of their name, and whom people love being around.

Every group of friends and company needs one. In sports, they are referred to as a Locker Room Guy.

Howard: I swear the only thing good about this job is Andy. Every time I am upset or stressed, I go hang out at his desk and feel better.

Alyssa: Ya, he is The Human Version of a Golden Retriever. Management keeps him around for that reason, to sanitize this shit ass job.

Thomas: Smells like shit, tho

by Mike109999 October 2, 2022

Human Grape

Human Grape is a slang term for Eyeball.

“John I just nabbed a bag of Human Grapes, want some?”

“Nah dude, I’m good I just ate already”

by Grandule April 9, 2024

The Human Stapler

Occurs when a human is folded in half, coated in metal, and uses teeth to staple objects. Tends to be less costly than a conventional stapler (before calculating costs that come from medical bills)

I had to pay $3000 after Billy used me as The Human Stapler.

by P_Che2_P November 16, 2022

Humanity

A creature who struggles at times but when needed will come together to create hope for a future

Humanity creates hope

by Lauren 2020 July 17, 2023

Human

A human is a dumber version of a monkey that causes harm to all life forms including their own species. Humans destroy their home, named 'Earth' because of the need of slight convenience in their lives.

"I fucking hate humans" -Earth

by DuckWithToast May 21, 2023

The perpetual perpetrator (a psychosomatic suspect with a distressed stutter) is a homo-sapien (human) addicted to abscesses.

What I call people who are addicted to abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: The perpetual perpetrator (a psychosomatic suspect with a distressed stutter) is a homo-sapien (human) addicted to abscesses.

by Abreathofaversaillian January 20, 2025

human brita

Ingesting liquid, such as beer, while urinating.

For best results, being properly hydrated prior to attempting the human brita results in colored liquid being ingested while clear liquid being evacuated, thus the human brita.

Extra points for both input and output utilizing cups or glasses.

Dude, I didn’t want to leave my drink and the restroom line was too long, had to pull a human brita. At least I know I’m hydrated.

by 01011110 October 4, 2017