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mike jones

Mike Jones is a “UD” user who frequently posted between 2004–2006. Based on his posts, it’s safe to say he is a Black male in his late 50s to early 60s now. This assumption is based on his post about the “NWA,” a hip-hop crew that found their way into business back in 1986. He also used the N-word, which led me to conclude he might be a POC. (If not, shame on you, mister.)

He also seemed to be pretty active in the ladies' world when he was still young and thriving, considering the number of posts where he talked about b-words and all that stuff.
None of this matters though, as my real and only intent of this post is but one:

Punch 'Em Poker.
Sir, you said in 2004 that this kind of Robin Hood–like poker would be popular all around the world in a few years?
I am very sorry to inform you that it is not.
Never heard of it.
Never seen anyone playing it.
I think you may have misjudged its potential as a well-known card game.
Maybe this poor judgment was induced by your lack of experience.
Since you were presumably 30–35 in that time period, I can’t really be sure though.
All in all: I just wanted to inform you about the missing success of this horse you bid on so greedily.
„Do you know Mike Jones?“
„Yeah. Aint he the guy that wanted everyone to believe in his poker-dreams?“
by Sheldon dooker May 23, 2025
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Mike

Short for Michael in many cultures.

This person is the most common friend to have in multiples for people born in the 1980's through early 1990's due to the extremely high popularity of the name in that era. People in this age group know so many Mikes that they confuse others and themselves frequently in conversation without establishing systems of differentiation. A Mike can be the best and most loyal friend with great personal hygiene and cleanliness skills to match their natural charm. Not all Mikes are created equal.
"Mike's coming over later, is that cool?"

"Which fucking Mike?"
by NickEffinB May 30, 2025
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Masturbating Mike Tyson

When a man’s penis is so long he has to assume the classic Mike Tyson peek-a-boo boxing stance — elbows tucked, fists up by his face — to reach it during masturbation. Typically involves a downward squat and intense focus, resembling a fighter preparing for battle… but for very different reasons.
“Bro, I caught Kyle in the bathroom doing the Masturbating Mike Tyson. Dude looked like he was about to throw hands with his own junk.”
by A Dude Booty Meat June 2, 2025
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killer mike

Some random nigga who robbed Travis Scott at the Grammys.
rap fan 1: yo bump that new killer mike album
rap fan 2: who tf is killer mike
rap fan 1: the goat
rap fan 2: gun to your head name me 5 killer mike songs fn
by mrtakethatrisk April 15, 2024
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Mike

Mike has a big booty and looks amazing in khakis.
Mikes big ol' booty suffocated my face.
by mikesbigolbooty April 15, 2024
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Moscow Mike

The nickname for Republican speaker of the house in the US Congress, Mike Johnson. He was granted this title on social media platforms and critics for blocking desperately needed military aid to Ukraine from his inception as speaker in October 2023 to April 2024, when he scheduled a vote. He is known to be beholden to fringe MAGA members of the GOP, who are sympathetic to Russia and were even accused of peddling Kremlin talking points verbatim by moderate GOP members, due to former President Donald Trump's election campaign.

This nickname originates from Moscow Mitch, when in 2018, the Department of the Treasury established sanctions against Russian oligarch, Oleg Deripaska, who is known to be an influential and powerful ally to the Kremlin, along with other Russian oligarchs. Democrats moved to enforce the sanctions against Deripaska but were defeated by the Mitch McConnell led GOP majority.
Moscow Mike wants Russia to win!
MoscowMike is trending in X
by irongron April 16, 2024
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Mike

1. A name
2. A kind of person that has the letters M, I, K and E in their name
3. A shortened version of Michael
Alex: Mike is really annoying.
Jack: Yeah! I know!
by anonymous April 18, 2024
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