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cock blocking

A dangerous impedement to getting pussy which can rear it's ugly head in many different forms and situations. To categorize a few...

1) The Third Wheel - A friend of the chick you are trying to get who doesn't want to leave her side, and will not until your target says otherwise.

2) The Lame Duck - When trying to get a slutty girl, a lame duck may be another individual who knows the sluts reputation, and is hanging around her, but is either bogged down in their efforts to spit game, or downright wasting her and your time by not getting any, but instead keeping the slut company.

3) Rich People - Sometimes at a party, those ridiculously rich white kids come down, and since most girls are attracted to money, they start hanging around them. Of course, most rich people who come down to urban parties are there for a bigger reason... to do oxycontin, cocaine, and other garbage and get our females hooked onto it. Definately one of the worst.

4) The Ex - If your potential mate has an Ex-Boyfriend somewhere in the premises, things can get ugly if he's the hothead type. Thankfully, I'm a Marine and could careless about a civilian, but for other people who aren't deadly weapons by law, just keep your eyes out, these morons can not only cock block your entire operation but can get the jump off blown up too.

5) Accidents - Sometimes even your closest buddy might let something stupid slip, like that time you had that threesome with your potential mate's sister. Or it might be a cock blocker letting it slip intentionally. Me and my clique follow a strong code of silence on matters like this, but when it comes to getting the finest bitches, trust can fall like a house of cards in a hurricane.

There are many more you might have the misfortunate of encountering. Just keep smooth casanova and you can sometimes blitz right past them and go straight for it. After that, all you need to worry about is not getting burned.
1) I wanted to talk to that girl alone, but her bitch friend kept hanging around us being a third wheel cock block.

2) That dude keeps trying to holler at that slut but isn't getting any, and I'm the one who called her to come here and give me brains in the first place.

3) I was hollering at this chick when these random white dudes from the sticks came. Next thing I knew, the chick was strung out on coke.

4) I was fingering this chick in the back, when her ex comes in and starts wiling out.

5) I was spitting mad game at this chick, when my drunk ass friend comes over and says "Isn't her sister the girl we gave the goggles too that night?"
by The Sub January 9, 2005
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alarm cock

Also see: Dirt Rooster

When a male wakes up his partner in the morning by ramming them in the rear with his cock and screaming "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo Beyotch!"

Does not work so well on a sleeper with an unusually loose anus, in which case they will continue to sleep like a baby....well...a baby with a loose anus anyway.

Warning: Repeated use may invoke adverse reactions from sleeper; including but not limited to; a bat over the head followed by an emphatic "Cock-A-Doodle-Don't MuthaFucka!"
"That bitch kept hitting the snooze button, so I had to wake her up with the Alarm Cock!"
by The Hunter May 27, 2004
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cock weight

the excuse given by those accused of being overweight, implying their excess weight can be attributed to a large and heavy schlong.
"mate you're a fat shit"
"nah dude its all cock weight
by Glavič1 April 6, 2011
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cock slap

When a male human uses his penis to slap someone. Usually done at full length, but not completely stiff to allow for a whipping action. Commonly used against passed out victums. (Can be slightly painful for the slapper, but the comic effect is usually worth it)
Did you get cock slapped last night? You have a mushroom bruise on your cheek.

If you don't shut up I am gonna cock slap you in your sleep.
by Jaunito September 1, 2006
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cock tongs

results when a man fails to wash his filthy cock hands after going to the bathroom at a buffet restaraunt. he then touches the disgusting cock-infested door handle before proceeding to the food line, thereby passing off the cockage to the tongs which oftentime get dropped into the food, resulting in 20 cock chicken or other delights.
"get those filthy cock tongs away from my food, or i will beat you with them."
by sharon, ricky's bitch September 30, 2006
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jungle cock

a very hairy cock
stop flossing my teeth, shave your jungle cock
by Anonymous November 6, 2003
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Condor cock

describes the texture of a person who excesivliy masturbates with out any lotion and streches the skin resembling that of the neck of the california condor
Aye you have such a floppy Condor cock lube that shit next time nignig.
by Keggles December 11, 2006
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