skipping the monkeys

"Skipping the monkeys" is a metaphor for skipping past the boring stuff to get to the good stuff. 2001: A Space Odyssey, the film begins with an instrumental overture that lasts about 5 minutes and then there’s 15 minutes of, for lack of a better word, monkeys. I love 2001: A Space Odyssey and would never approve of fast forwarding through any part of the movie unless you’ve seen the movie many times and don’t necessarily want to sit through a slow part to get to the good stuff. -Scott Moschella

Let’s say you’re going to a concert. Who wants to sit through two lackluster opening acts to get to the headliner? I say, “Skip those monkeys!” Restless at work? Skip the monkeys and take an early lunch. Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Skip the monkeys and bite into that sucker. -Scott Moschella

by Scott Moschella May 13, 2005

Slapping The Clown

Jocular coinage for male masturbation...

Johnny Was Caught "Slapping The Clown" Over Behind The Circus Tent Watching The Dancing Girls Through A Slit...

by Fast ED March 19, 2012

Flap Slapping

A sexual act performed by lesbians. This action requires the women to lock arms while sitting up facing each other and pulling each other in and out simultaneously, slapping their vagina's together. This position was born in France during the French Revolution, a time when woman rights we're becoming a cause for concern. It is an official pain Olympic sport.

On the seventh day, God rested while watching two young women Flap Slapping on his behalf. God was aroused by this act of Flap Slapping

by Doctor Bozzknocker May 1, 2010

Slapping the Cactus

(v). to slap the cactus, to be slapping the cactus, to have slapped the cactus.

A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.

"Sarah was definitely slapped the cactus last night - she turned the stove on, forgot that she had, and proceeded to set her laundry down - thankfully she only singed her eyebrows when she tried to put the fire out with the contents of a suspicious water bottle that turned out to be full of vodka"

Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"

by Sienna Shay October 3, 2010

slapping the pappy

The act of elderly male self pleasure.

Grandpa took too much Viagra , but found instant relief by slapping the pappy.He was beating his richard like it owed him money.

by ballz itchy July 4, 2016

thug skipping

to attempt to appear butch/masculine while dancing, especially a male stripper.

That Chippendale dancer is hot, but the way he's thug skipping up on that stage is ridiculous.

by MontrealGuy August 24, 2005

rabbit slapping

When you're fucking a bitch and your balls slap the top of her pussy

Dude, i was rabbit slapping this bitch so hard she couldn't walk the next day

by mynameismarky November 17, 2013