Hillbilly Bidet

Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.

Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.

by Poop Geyser June 26, 2011

Human Bidet

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.

"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"

by clogmethroatwithshitmrdiddy August 03, 2024

The Dumbo Bidet

Edging yourself while your saggy balls are sucked down a flushing toilet. As the bidet power washes your asshole.

Have you joined the Dumbo Bidet mile-high club?

by simplyjames April 10, 2022

Bidet shit

A poop or shit that splashes toilet bowl water onto your bootie hole crack area therefore washing off the poop.

I went to take a shit, but there was no poop in the toilet paper, the bidet shit washed me out very well.

by Moose45 March 28, 2019

The Bidet

When you spread a girls ass cheeks apart and piss on her butthole

“Yeah I gave Mary the bidet last night”

by BigBasstard August 08, 2023

To bidet

A sexual act in which one person lies on the bed with a mouthful of water while the partner places their anus on top of the mouth. The partner on the bed then squirts water up at the anus, cleaning it and providing maximum pleasure

"my anus was pretty dirty the other day, so I got Stacy to bidet me, it was glorious"

by Peter bidet February 04, 2019

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020