Person 1: Woah! Is that toilet paper?
Person 2: Yeah and it’s mine.
Person 1: I’ll pay $1,000. Pleasssssssse I need it nowwwww.
Person 2: Pathetic. This roll of toilet paper is obviously worth more than that. Never speak to me again.
Person 2: Yeah and it’s mine.
Person 1: I’ll pay $1,000. Pleasssssssse I need it nowwwww.
Person 2: Pathetic. This roll of toilet paper is obviously worth more than that. Never speak to me again.
by Cow dog toy March 31, 2020
by Lizard_Monster99 January 25, 2022
An essential resource, now gone scarce due to the COVID-19 lockdown. This holy material, brought to us from above, aids some in helping clean one's shit lined ass hole. Another use for this Walmart product, is helping a man clean the pew-pews of jizz off the toilet seat.
by itsPrYzm June 02, 2020
A dry and disgusting way to clean your ass after using the toilet, which leaves shit particles and toilet paper remains between your cheeks and you don’t even realize it.
Friend1: ew, you use toilet paper after using the toilet?!
Friend2: um, yeah?? Isn’t that universal?
Friend1: yeah, that’s the problem! Use a bidet!
Friend2: okay.
Friend2: um, yeah?? Isn’t that universal?
Friend1: yeah, that’s the problem! Use a bidet!
Friend2: okay.
by Jackelanm December 22, 2023
dry piece of paper that people use to smear poop around in their butt and they walk around like that for the whole day
by saljdlasdjasdpojasd July 03, 2023
Even the hardasses aren't buying the 180 grit toilet paper, they try to get one of the other brands first, which is why the stores only have the 180 grit left.
by Solid Mantis April 27, 2020
What all the fat fucks in the United States decided to do when they heard that a pandemic was coming.
No one knows exactly why this occurred since toilet paper cannot protect you from the No No Virus. If you ask a hoarder they will use the lazy excuse about indefinite quarantines as though that justifies buying 3 years worth from Costco by the pallet. Someone even made a website about this shit and of course, most everyone had too much butt paper. Go figure.
Some greedy good for nothings also tried to make a profit to “help their family”, only to get the banhammer from the Feds for selling Charmin at a 1200% markup on eBay. Amateurs.
You can find some pseudo-intellectual bullshit in the media about comfort and the bullwhip effect, yada yada - this is the nice way of saying people are retards and controlled by their reptilian impulses.
Many lulz will ensue in the coming months when things calm down and all the butt cucks try to return their paper paradise to Walmart, only to be told no and to gtfo.
No one knows exactly why this occurred since toilet paper cannot protect you from the No No Virus. If you ask a hoarder they will use the lazy excuse about indefinite quarantines as though that justifies buying 3 years worth from Costco by the pallet. Someone even made a website about this shit and of course, most everyone had too much butt paper. Go figure.
Some greedy good for nothings also tried to make a profit to “help their family”, only to get the banhammer from the Feds for selling Charmin at a 1200% markup on eBay. Amateurs.
You can find some pseudo-intellectual bullshit in the media about comfort and the bullwhip effect, yada yada - this is the nice way of saying people are retards and controlled by their reptilian impulses.
Many lulz will ensue in the coming months when things calm down and all the butt cucks try to return their paper paradise to Walmart, only to be told no and to gtfo.
My neighbor has been entertaining herself by engaging in toilet paper hoarding. She has 14 pallets and can’t even park her car in the garage anymore.
by TauKitty April 21, 2020