news constipation

Reading so many bad news, you can not give a shit anymore

Mikko does not give a shit about the news anymore. He said he has news constipation. He just reads them and makes standup jokes without crying first.

by mphahaha February 1, 2024

opinionatedly constipated

A condition that is developed by keeping one's own opinions to oneself as to not "rock the boat." Especially common for those who keep their opinion's to themselves on social media, often writing paragraphs of opinions in response to others, only to delete them to avoid a war with friends. This condition becomes especially unhealthy when developing ignorant friend circles and being exposed to ludicrous shit on a constant basis.

Heather became opinionatedly constipated after making friends with idiots on Facebook during a presidential election season.

by HastaCare September 23, 2016

Constipated cat

the dance move of a slow twerk that resembles a constipated cat that is trying to push out a hard shit that arches and retracts it’s back while pursing it’s lips.

“Omg she’s doing the Constipated Cat!”

by chihuahuacheese07 August 19, 2023

Constipated laughter

The painful lingering feeling resulting from laughter that’s caused by some ass hole trying to impress people who ride upon him/her like a horse, with a joke that they try so hard to laugh at, butt try so hard they sound like they are squeezing their esophagus like that of an intestine.

Ass hole: “blah blah” (probably trying to belittle somebody or desecrate something)
Plebs/pions: *as their throat tightens to the point of suffocation* “bahahahaha hehehehe whowhowhowho” <— the resulting constipated laughter of something that’s only wanna be funny
Me:omg somebodies gona lay something with that kinda level contraction.

by Seriously silly South July 11, 2021

postulation constipation

A state of mental stagnancy; one is unable to excrete thoughts. A bit like writer's block for your brain's bowels.

I cannot finish my essay on my latest axiom, do I have postulation constipation? (yes)

Stacy won't have her speech written in time for her presentation because she has postulation constipation .

by Postulate With Me Baby March 17, 2019

Ocular Constipation

When you don’t see that shit happening.

The boss told me I had to work tomorrow. Unfortunately for him, I feel a case of ocular constipation coming on.

by monkeycop72 August 18, 2025

Mentally Constipated

1. So full of shit nothing credible can get in.
2. Just won't let go of the bullshit.

Usually caused by propaganda and or confirmation bias.

He's mentally constipated in that he still believes regardless of fact, the election was stolen.

by Lexxster August 1, 2022