Bert Squirt

The same exact technique as giving a woman the shocker. But the person giving the Bert Squirt is missing part of their pinky finger. Therefore instead of " Two in the pink and one in the stink", it is Two in the pink and half in the stink. This technique is satisfying to both partners because the partner on the receiving end is enjoying a half pinky with no fingernail being lodged up her butthole, while the partner on the giving end is feeling the woman's stink wrinkles pucker like a hummingbird heart all over his damaged nerve endings sending them both into squirt mode.

I gave my wife the Bert squirt last night, now the ceiling in our bedroom looks like a jackson pollock painting with a black light on!

by Chingycheeze August 20, 2021

Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

by jhumigas June 6, 2020

Bert

A true bellend aka a smithy. #thinksheisgodsgift #cockwamble

Yo mert there's Bert what a cunt.

by Koplover89 March 8, 2019

On Bert

Norbert that one dude who got unrightfully kicked from a skribbl.io lobby
Derived from "On God", the only exception being Norbert > God

Beta cuck: "Your girlfriend looks like my mom"
Chad: "On Bert"

by Chicken Lord May 26, 2020

Bert

A term of endearment for a cat

I love sitting with berts. I love holding this bert

by ursubpar March 9, 2023

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert

Usually dirty minded laughs hard at everything and usually has a friend named Logan

Bert

by Lovenlife101 February 3, 2020