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Facebook Poke

A tool on facebook used to get other's attention. Like the facebook feed's endless scroll, the function depends to some extent on dopamine. But even more, it carries sexual connotations as a phallic gesture, prompting users to use it as a flirtation device (even if the two pokers aren't exactly on the same page). For this reason there is long standing debate as to whether the function is distinctly sexual. One thing's for sure though, it gets people excited, and puts some (perhaps lonely people) in the mood for procreation; its simplicity lends it to become a fertile ground for projecting one's desires.
"Hey John, I think Lisa loves me."

"Why's that?"

"She gave me a facebook poke after the party the other night, and we've been poking each other constantly since"

"You don't think she's just bored and happy to see a friend?"

"Doesn't that mean she's dtf?"

"Is that what love means to you?"
by TonerBaloner September 23, 2020
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Facebook Diplomacy

1.The Concept, Idea, or Action of one issuing goodwill on Facebook, or really any other social network.

2.The connotative form of definition #1, where someone makes an often futile and socially awkward attempt at socialization on a social network (such as facebook), often with no previous communication to the receiver nor any plans to follow up in real life.
Example for definition #1:

Steve: "Hey, did you know what you did at the party last night?"
Joe: "Dude, I was too smashed to remember."
Steve: "You freaking puked on Sarah! It was hilarious!"
Joe: "What?! Great, now I'm going to have to pull some Facebook Diplomacy."

Example for Definition #2
Joe: "Hey, you know that girl that gives me the stink-eye at work?"
Steve: "The one that never talks to you?"
Joe: "Yeah. She just invited me to be on her "best friends" app."
Steve: "Weird. But that's Facebook Diplomacy for yah though."
by Mr. Pistachio May 11, 2010
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Facebook Tardilicious

Someone who has no clue about Facebook.

Possibly afraid to even use Facebook.
Could also be someone new to Facebook, most likely a 50-something that has no clue how to post or tag content.

The Facebook Tard usually has 20-something off-spring that school them on the nuances of social networking. These off-spring often use encouraging statements like, "Facebook is good for old people like you. MySpace is for young people."
My mom is so Facebook Tardilicious that I had to post her profile picture for her.

My Facebook Tardilicious friend published the same link five times!
by pism February 10, 2010
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competitive facebooking

competitive facebooking is the act of checking in or posting on facebook to one up your friends, relatives, or other that have it better than you.
We checked in at a really nice place, and shortly after he checked in at the old haunt. I think he is competitive facebooking.
by no1special March 5, 2014
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Facebook patient

Someone who uses Facebook as a thinly-disguised substitute for actual psychotherapy.
Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.
by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
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Facebook Featherbrained

When someone comments on a status that you have that is meant to be serious and meaningful with a trivial and frankly retarded comment.
Bob: In the days of kings and queens I was a jester
Frank: In the days of kings and queens you were a shoveler of shit.
Harold: In the queens of kings jester, I was the days.
Bob: Wow you guys are facebook featherbrained
by DayumDude February 18, 2011
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Facebook Cemetery

An event in which a Facebook News Feed is crammed with R.I.P.s, usually after the immediate death of a celebrity.
RIP, Roger Ebert
Rest in peace Roger
RIP Roger Ebert
RIP Roger
Holy crap, Roger Ebert died! RIP
OMG, it's like a Facebook Cemetery in here.
by Enough A'ight April 4, 2013
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