Turtle

A turtle is a name given to someone who is very slow at everything, or if you just look like a turtle

Hey bro, that guys a real turtle
Yea he’s really slow and he just looks like one
What’s his name, Kman

by Dliw1 October 27, 2019

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtles

something the vsco girls need you to save. go buy a metal straws instead of plastic ones.

Sarah: omg, Jessica is that a plastic straw??
Jessica: I-I could explain-
Sarah: YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE MF TURTLES!!!

by Anji🤧🥴 November 4, 2019

Turtle

That's a tortise.

Turtle! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! Turtleurtleurtleurtle -- That's a tortise

by dafyomeme November 16, 2020

confident turtle

when you're not sure if it's a shit or a fart but you take your chances

"i couldn't hold it in any longer at my daughter's recital so i took a confident turtle"

by queerz4life November 20, 2020

turtles

i like turtles

turtles are pog

by defenitly not wesley December 2, 2020

Sneaky Turtles

Origins unknown though thought to be cosmic as they were worshiped by ancient cultures worldwide. Most noted characteristics were endurance, sneakiness and a witty approach while stalking prey. It is claimed that victims were scared shitless but with a puzzled grin on their faces. The Sneaky Turtle diet consisted primarily of prepared lettuce and what seems to have been an early form of taco.

The Sneaky Turtles were relentless in it quest for victory ...

by LizardLand October 21, 2020