monkey jesus

An extremely ugly, undesirable person.

That girl is straight monkey jesus.

by K.G. MadMan June 14, 2005

Touch The Monkey

A phrase coined by Mike Myers in the Saturday Night Live skit, "Sprockets". It can either mean
a) To literally touch a monkey.
b) To masturbate.

a) I was at the zoo and I decided to touch the monkey.
b) I got really lonely and bored so I touched the monkey.

by Justin1552 October 13, 2008

horny monkey

When a monkey and another monkey start screaming at each other and then suddenly start doing it. This can also be seen in some cases of humans, unfortunately, when one human suddenly screams at the top of his lungs and then drops his pants and gets onto another human.

Gurpreet was the victims of one of Shane's random horny monkey attacks.

by toadnater December 2, 2003

Weed Monkey

Person who habitually smokes weed with you but never returns the favor and never pay you.

Weed Monkey: wanna go smoke a bowl, dude?
John: heyyyyy man, quit being such a freaking weed monkey!

by Ryan Tucker January 19, 2007

chud monkey

Some one who picks peanuts out of poo

Dan you fucking chud monkey, leave that piece of poo alone!!

by Jim Bob March 22, 2004

trunk monkey

The WSO (backseater) in a fighter jet, named because they sit behind the pilot ("stick monkey")

"You're my favorite trunk monkey to fly with."
"Goose was Maverick's trunk monkey."

by Desert_Eagle November 7, 2008

northern monkey

nothern male, bigger than most people, with a slightly wild personallity. Have a tendancy towards extreme sports, and crazy doings. Also seem quite slow, but are acctually rather clever. Very proud of there background, and like taking the mick out of southern faires. have the ability to speak proberly, i.e. saying grass, not grarss.

these are all exaples of northern monkeys, steve peat, vernon kay, paddy mcguinnes

by ni 'munky' ck August 17, 2007