crusty surprise

The crusty part of one's bedsheets soiled with cum from a nocturnal emission or self-handjob. Dogs prize crusty surprises as delicacies, much as we prize lemon merangue pie, and will seek them out in the morning whilst their owners are showering. Not to be confused with the crusty pillow surprise, although there's no reason why a pillow couldn't have a crusty surprise.

Woman: Richard, come here.
Man: What?
Woman: It's your dog. What's he doing?
Man: Barney! What you lickin there?
Barney: really guilty look
Man: Look's like Barney found himself a Crusty Surprise.
Woman: That's disgusting.
Man: That's all right, Mr. B! That cookie's yours!

by Richard J December 14, 2008

crusty pickle

when a girls vaginal fluids are remaining on a mans penis after sex and eventually dries, leaving a crusty residue AKA crusty pickle

"That chick just gave me the nastiest crusty pickle ever!"

by cumtart69 January 20, 2009

bumping crustys

A description of elderly people having sex.

I busted my grandparents bumping crustys

by willevans1972 April 19, 2011

Crack a crustie

To have a second or third round of sex, where the penetration effectively loosens the crust formed by the previous coitus.

The morning after, Johny was so horny he had little choice but to crack a crustie and bone Mary before she showered.

by Mont the 3 legged dog December 20, 2010

crusty semen

When you nut all over yourself and you let it dry there. After a while it becomes crusty.

I nutted on my hand before and let it dry for a hour or two, it turned into crusty semen.

by The Black Plague October 26, 2017

crusty ring

When performing anal on a male or female that has not properly wiped and by the time you are finished there is a crusted ring around your shaft. Due to the seamen and shit.

"Did you smash that ass brah"
"Yeah but I pulled out and it smelled awful, then I looked down and saw a crusty ring!"

by Sam Pant's Loose Vag April 19, 2016

Crusty macaroon

When’s females lips hang over thong underwear. When the thong is too small for the big clam make it look like a macaroon

My thong panties were really bothering me and as I looked down , my vagina looked like a pink crusty macaroon.

by Backdoor bacon February 3, 2018