Colombian Alarm Clock

When you drink yourself silly, meet a local for the night and be woke up in the morning by her yelling “baby baby baby” pointing at the shit mess you made while passed out. Literally shit the bed.

Austin: I woke early thanks to the Colombian Alarm Clock!

Matt: yo that’s so gross! Funny but gross!

by Arb Guy December 10, 2024

alarm clock

get woken up by it stay in bed for an hour realize the infinite you've gotten yourself into

i got woken up by my alarm clock

I'm gonna now kill myself

by Ol'banana December 6, 2021

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

Thailand Alarm Clock

Waking up in the morning to a surprise rimjob from a significant other

“Dude, my girlfriend woke me up with a Thailand Alarm Clock this morning!”

by ar18enjoyer March 12, 2024

Ostrich alarm clock

when the alarm goes off, it’s ostrich time.

hey is it ostrich time yet?

nope, my ostrich alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet.

by ostrichforthewin February 6, 2019

Military Alarm Clock

Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.

#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.

by bossofpiza November 22, 2016