Passive Swanking

The act of showing off whilst pretending it’s a hard life

Swanking is blatantly bragging about what you have done / have bought / have said

Passive swanking is bragging but in a humble brag sort of way. You aren’t fooling anyone

Donna: I don’t know how I’m going to cope with the heat in Miami and the amount of people, why did I book a 5* all inclusive vacation at the busiest, most expensive time of year in an exclusive hotel?

Friends: yes Donna, poor you. Hope you have a fabulous vacay!

Friends: *thinking* what a show off! Some of us can’t have a vacation Donna loves passive swanking

by Sir Swank July 25, 2018

Mojave spanking

Involves two individuals, cactus, litter box, and a lot of imagination.

"I'd rather get some Mojave spanking then visit my in-laws."

by thecrimsonfuckr_#vampire April 16, 2020

Vermont spanking

When you spank the booty with an inverted middle finger, penitrating the anus at the same time

Keep it up and ima pull your pants down and give you a Vermont spanking.

by NorthernKnight March 17, 2022

Vicarious Spankings

A spanking administered by a step-parent during intercourse to his/her partner (his/her step-child's parent) in lieu of spanking the step-child for the step-child's misbehavior. Usually administered within twenty-four (24) hours of the step-child's misbehavior.

I cannot believe how disrespectful he has been today - his mother is in for some vicarious spankings this evening.

by James A. H. Murray June 30, 2022

donelian spanking

The act of spanking one's testicles with a spatula for sexual pleasure, and sometimes self punishment.
Pronounced DOE-NEE-LEE-AN

Man: I gave myself a Donelian Spanking last night.
Woman: Leave me alone you freak! I'm calling the police!

by Marty Mac Ass Farty May 21, 2022

babysitter spanking

The most painful spanking, when it’s from your parents they do it out of love. When the babysitter does it it’s out of pure spite specifically intended to leave a bruise and to hurt like hell!

Joe walked into class and stood behind his desk. The teacher told him to sit down, he replied I cannot!
Teacher- yes you can!
Joe- no I can’t!
Teacher- go to the principals office!
The principal- what seems to be the matter joe?
Joe- I got a babysitter spanking last night.
The principal- let me see?
Joe pulled his pants down and showed him, the principal say “oh my god joe I’m so sorry, here let me call the therapist!”

by Wreck it wrelph September 20, 2022

birthday spanking

An old birthday tradition where you are spanked one smack per year of life plus one more “to grow on”. There are different variations where you may receive “a pinch to grown an inch” or “a sock to grow a block”.

Parents or close friends normally pull your pants down and give it to you on your bare butt, over their knee. Teachers that still carry on this tradition will put you over their knee in front of the class.

This used to be very commonly done at childrens’ birthday parties as part of the activities. Usually a sibling or cousin would hold you down while everyone at the party took turns spanking you over your clothing.

1. Mom: Happy Birthday! Pull your pants down and over my knee for your birthday spanking!
Son: Come on mom! I’m too old for this!
Mom: Don’t make me get the spoon, honey!
…
Smack! “One”

Smack! “Two”

Smack! “Three”
…..

SMACK! “And one to grow on”
“OWW!”

by redcaboose May 24, 2023