gluteun-free

(adj.) Describes a self-imposed lifestyle or prescribed treatment where someone attempts to get through his entire day and night without giving or partaking of any ass. Usually fails miserably unless one is a hermit, since in populated areas there are so many round plump juicy posteriors around that are seemingly just begging to be pinched or humped.

Store owner, to male customer in the toilet-tissue aisle: Please don't squeeze the Charmin, sir.
Recovering skirt-chaser: Look, buster --- cut the poor horny guy some slack, willya?! My doctor told me to go completely gluteun-free in an attempt to cure me of feeling up the ladies, and I've gone three days without any ass, so I need to do something to semi-slake my consumptive cravings!

by QuacksO January 13, 2015

free bagel

1. A loose butthole. You can make implications about toppings yourself.

"I went over to Jennifer's place to get myself a free bagel yesterday."

by DrSpocktopus November 13, 2013

Free Range Chicken

A parent scared of letting their child(ren) out of their sight to travel to/from a neighborhood park, friend's house, community pool or walk to school for fear of being reported to Child Protective Services (CPS), or their child(ren) being picked up (abducted) by the police and delivered to CPS. These parents would normally be fine with letting their children be unsupervised for such excursions, but have been closely monitoring the news of the couple in Maryland who have had ideological clashes with CPS and by extension, the police. This case has sparked a national debate as to whether these parents actually neglected their children in any way, and further, how helicopter parenting has raised a generation of helpless children to adulthood (millennials) who now expect the government and society to protect and coddle them, and who are in turn projecting these values onto modern GenX parents.

Dan and Mary are such free range chickens; they won't let their kids walk to the park anymore. They used to be free-rangers.

by Bloggernaut April 15, 2015

Sugar-Free Sugar

A name to call someone that acts like they are something when they're really just nothing.

That ho think she all that, but she jut a bag of sugar-free sugar.

by ToonRosie13 May 1, 2015

free footer

A person who does not use cruise control on the highway. They accelerate and decelerate, passing and having to be passed repeatedly over the course of several miles.

I have to hit my brake again, because that free footer just merged in front of me for the fourteenth time.

by DarkStarScott September 24, 2015

Free Skeeter

A man who lives off their woman, free and does not contribute, work or do shit to help out around the house, basically makes the woman take care of him.

I don't want no free skeeter's in my life! I want a man!

by philthebomb July 21, 2016

Free Flights

When your significant other allows you to hook up with other people, but only when you're on vacation.

A: Dude, the girls here in LA are so hot!

B: Yeah! Too bad you have a girlfriend though..:
A: It's chill dude, she gives me free flights!

*high five*

by Magistyoung September 2, 2016