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Newstead wood

The shittiest grammar school in orpington. The teachers just want u to get good grades and don’t care abt nth else.

The windows literally have locks to stop people jumping out and half the teachers r racist or pedophiles.

The year 7’s think they’re hard, the year 9’s are insufferable and a certain year 13 is the biggest fucking snitch and we all hate her.

The uniform is even worse with it only being alright in 10 and 11 despite the girls determination to get their skirts higher than their Fanny’s and obsession with vapes.

Half the six formers are weird lesbo art kids or Asian stalkers and the rest are olaves rejects who think they’re hard.

But hey, at least we’re not as bad as Darrick wood, just please stop dying your hair bright red. It looks horrible
Darrick kid 1: oi fam what are those red green and black tings innit

Darrick kid 2: they’re from newstead wood innit fam

Darrick kid 1: shit fam better hide the red hair dye and vapes
by Fuck this school xoxo March 3, 2024
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Jayem Wood

A person (usually male) who is devoutly christian and searches for a mexican woman, he will often use phrases sush as, "it's funny how", "I love how", and "it's weird, because".

Thinks very highly of himself whilst being as useful as a block of wood.
You here he joined the cartel and forgot to pray, what a jayem wood
by minty monty March 12, 2024
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wood panel

Basic, non stylish but unpretentious
Tyler’s new girlfriend is a total wood panel. She is a long way from the K-pop star be used to date.
by Chips n’ hummus March 13, 2024
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Knock On Wood

When a man masturbates and doesn’t have a towel to clean up

He bashes the head of his penis on a door frame to wipe it off
No towel all good I will knock on wood
by Knock on wood March 21, 2024
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hop off wood

a saying used to tell someone to stop dickriding
you getting me mad tight right now hop off wood
by transgenderer July 9, 2022
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Wood Hammer

When a femme-dom has her cuck tied up on the floor, she has her other partner stand over him, and she slaps the cuck with his dick, in a hammer type motion.
My mistress gave me the wood hammer last night, and I weirdly loved it.
by Sickfuckers July 10, 2022
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Three Woods

A group of men, specifically studs. With huge, massive rods. Get every single chick dripping wet. One member is known as being a “pussy hound
Wow, the three woods are so fucking hot! Stacey fucked ALL of them multiple times. Especially that one, PUSSY HOUND!
by Pussy hound July 10, 2022
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