by Ogwoodknocker December 13, 2018
Get the wood knocking mug.by Spanky McQueefbottom April 10, 2023
Get the Evan Rachel Wood mug.Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
Guard "Alright. Move along."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Get the Wood mug.The other example was wrong so I fixed it.
" How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? " "Well my friend, a woodchuck would chuck all the wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
" How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? " "Well my friend, a woodchuck would chuck all the wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
by sgt.failure July 28, 2021
Get the How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? mug.It’s when life can throw some hard punches at you and you have to learn how to evade, get back up, and evolve in order to survive the next threat that comes into your life.
John: Dude I lost my job last month and it made my life a living hell and that’s what made me become an entrepreneur.
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
by Coboricua March 7, 2021
Get the Sometimes you got to live in the woods mug.When you nibble on a penis for foreplay or bite on it whilst performing a blowjob. May also involve pieces of the foreskin if there is one.
Tyler: Dude! Your mom totally woodchipped me last night!
Dake: Man, what the hell? Wood chipping blows!
Dake: Man, what the hell? Wood chipping blows!
by Philoingdeeznuts September 17, 2021
Get the Wood chipping mug.Some phrase that jacknjellify decided would look good on a shirt
Might be supposed to sound like “what up” no one really knows
Might be supposed to sound like “what up” no one really knows
Cary: yo what should we put on a shirt with the character woody?
That other dude, idk his name: wood up
Cary: what
That other dude, idk his name: yea, let’s print that on a bunch of t shirts
Cary: ok
That other dude, idk his name: wood up
Cary: what
That other dude, idk his name: yea, let’s print that on a bunch of t shirts
Cary: ok
by someone I guess March 5, 2021
Get the wood up mug.