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Turtles

Motherfuckers that made us start using paper straws instead of plastic ones.
“Hey, can I have a straw?”

“We only have paper, is that fine?”

“No, turtle fucker. It’s not fucking fine.”

“Turtles caused it, i didn’t.”
by ItalianMafiaMan May 2, 2022
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TURTLE

A scaly guy with a really hard backpack
Man, I'd love to have sex with that TURTLE
by anonymous June 2, 2022
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Kiss the turtle

Pushing out a turd when receiving a rim job, so your partner gets a mouth full of poo.
Made Emily kiss the turtle last night.

She broke up with you, didn't she?

Yup.
by Shuaman April 21, 2020
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Turtle Necking

When you are having sexual intercourse while wearing a condom, and the condom breaks, leaving the remains pushed to the base of the shaft.
Last night me and my girl were having sex, afterwards I found out I was turtle necking. I hope she isn’t pregnant.
by Slyforawhiteguy November 22, 2021
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turtled

When you are still with someone but you feel single.
damn feel turtled
by @hoqwartsamp on tik tok January 11, 2021
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Sick turtle

Someone who is slow, (Crippled) and gets sick a lot; because they have a weak immune system.
by Sick turtle September 23, 2016
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Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).
Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!
by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014
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