by Spanky McQueefbottom April 10, 2023
Get the Evan Rachel Woodmug. Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
Guard "Alright. Move along."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Get the Woodmug. Grounding wood; when you miss the flying wood so much you become the opposite of flying and are now grounded. Grounding wood can appear when you are in immediate need of The flying wood back in your life
Person 1: “I just him so much and I feel so horrible about it and I don’t know why.”
Person 2 “you probably have grounding wood”
Person 2 “you probably have grounding wood”
by Yanni734 January 16, 2023
Get the Grounding woodmug. 1.one who wears dress flops quite occasionally w/ pink Polo's
2. looks like 12 year old Jewish girl; refer to gyspey
3. someones house squirrel wants to burn down
4. ones only friend are his sister and sisters friend
5. tries to bang girls, preferably best friends, whom are clearly unconscious
6. squirrel refers to Woods Parker as a Mexican Jew whore cunt and also Jew gold
2. looks like 12 year old Jewish girl; refer to gyspey
3. someones house squirrel wants to burn down
4. ones only friend are his sister and sisters friend
5. tries to bang girls, preferably best friends, whom are clearly unconscious
6. squirrel refers to Woods Parker as a Mexican Jew whore cunt and also Jew gold
1. go to (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/fd5484488cae53cdd81c54a11c214ffd.jpg)
2. also see { by the way spoom-woods has shorter hair } (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/d041310490e076ffe731b90d15e8dcd2.jpg)
3. " squirrel no you can't burn woods house ?"
" no squirrel u cant that's arsony "
4. also go to (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/1a3a05c6989e04449c5b7330bc2e8891.jpg)
5. see (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/faa0c2d11b163b9859c58811fbf39689.jpg)
6. " woods i am gunna burn your house down you mexican jew whore cunt "
2. also see { by the way spoom-woods has shorter hair } (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/d041310490e076ffe731b90d15e8dcd2.jpg)
3. " squirrel no you can't burn woods house ?"
" no squirrel u cant that's arsony "
4. also go to (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/1a3a05c6989e04449c5b7330bc2e8891.jpg)
5. see (http://fotos.fotoflexer.com/faa0c2d11b163b9859c58811fbf39689.jpg)
6. " woods i am gunna burn your house down you mexican jew whore cunt "
by Woods Parker August 2, 2008
Get the spoom-woodsmug. by Jackerofmeat October 27, 2018
Get the going into the woodsmug. An extremely large turd..
by kobalt October 30, 2009
Get the pulp-woodmug. It’s when life can throw some hard punches at you and you have to learn how to evade, get back up, and evolve in order to survive the next threat that comes into your life.
John: Dude I lost my job last month and it made my life a living hell and that’s what made me become an entrepreneur.
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
by Coboricua March 7, 2021
Get the Sometimes you got to live in the woodsmug.