bluetooth wanking

When your friend gets her ankles out and you start having a seizure but everyone thinks you’re wanking.

Nat: “Why are you having a wank without your hands?”

Teg: “It’s just Bluetooth wanking”

by BoardCard November 12, 2019

Adrenaline Wank

A form of ad-hoc masturbation following an unexpected event, causing a sudden rush of adrenaline. Usually performed in public as it should be followed through while you still feel the hormone coursing through your veins.

Guy 1: I think we lost the Feds.
Guy 2: That was madness. I could go for an adrenaline wank right now.

by syzlacker November 13, 2019

Wank jerked

Wank jerked is when one of your parents catches you masturbating.

Jill: You seem rather depressed, what happened to you today?

Johnny: Well I found some good porn and I was going to have a good time, but my mom wank jerked me.

by Box Worm November 24, 2019

Wank rags

Tabloid newspapers in the United Kingdom, simply and sensationally written, and politically biased. Often containing photographs of scantily clad (and sometimes) nude women. Also referred to as "Red Tops", for their red nameplate. Examples include The Sun, The Daily Star & The Daily Mirror

"Tomorrow - from broadsheets to wank rags - I want pages one, two and three to be a profile of Tom looking like a fucking political colossus, you know - Tom meeting the Pope, Tom in a NHS hospital chatting to little, baldie kiddies." - Malcolm Tucker (The Thick of It)

by PeterMannion May 1, 2019

Ad wank

A challenge of wanking during an advert break and climaxing before your television programme returns. The ability to do so can vary depending on the content and length of the adverts.

Today, I succeeded with my first ad wank. I'm officially an ad wanker.

by Mottymania May 9, 2019

Dilly Wanked

Long story short... You’re Fucked. Something (or someone) so fucked up, it is beyond repair.

Similar to being fucked over...HARDCORE.
Can be used as both a Noun and/or a Verb
Example( Dilly Wank, Dilly Wanker, Dilly Wanked, Dilly Wanking)

“Dammit Anthony, you’re dilly wanking me!”
“That Seth is a Dilly Wanking Bastard”
After a long day Kris looks to his wife after she asked how his day was “Honey, my day was Dilly Wanked from begging to end”

by GBR3710 February 28, 2019

Jingle Wank

Any type of boring repetitive music mainly played in shops, shopping malls and lifts. Jingle Wank can be found in any music genre but is primarily all jazz.

Let's all go to Ronnie Scott's on Saturday night, I hear there's a jazz extravaganza, I do love a bit of jingle wank.

by Corva March 9, 2019