Safety Squat

When you are tired of cleaning up the mess of masturbating, go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet backwards, lean your phone on the top of the toilet, put on your favorite porn and rub it out, and ejaculate into the back of the toilet leaving a mess and worry free situation

Jayden: I’m getting tired of cleaning up my mess after I beat my meat

Zach: Just use the safety squat method and you don’t have to worry about a mess

by Captainsafetysquatter June 16, 2018

Safety Mark

A word to describe that you have prepared yourself readily for the event ahead.

Tom and Benny had to go for camp. As they were leaving the house...

Tom: Are you ready to go?

Benny: Obviously.. I have Safety Marked a thousand times just now!

Tom: Ok, lets go!

by SafetyMark November 25, 2009

Safety Third

The old expression means; whatever it is you are doing, it first and secondly ain't safety.

The roofing crew will be on the project tomorrow regardless of the potential for ice overnight, safety third.

by COTrapper March 23, 2022

Safety Pod

The iPod you take on a road trip when other passengers in the car have already volunteered to be in charge of the music for the trip. Because you doubt their taste in music, you bring your own iPod as a backup for when they experience shuffle shame.

Joe: So we're all set for the trip to the beach. I'm driving..Bob, you are in charge of the music.
Bob: Sure, just don't be surprised when a random country song or NKOTB comes on.
Mark:...uh, yeah I'll be bringing my safety Pod...

by crack June 26, 2009

safety square

A condom: a square packaged device that provides safety during sex

Guy: I want sex but I don't have condoms
Girl: don't worry I got some safety squares

by BlasterHawk October 18, 2017

Safety Third

- Fun first
- Style second
- Safety third

These are the three rules of downhill skateboarding.

- Dude your normal fullface is much safer than that areolid ...
- Safety third, don't fuck up!

by ThaJay236 March 16, 2019

safety dance

The act of masturbating.

Originally coined in a EuroPop song in the 1980's by Men Without Hats. The song includes such phrases as:

"We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind"

"We can go where we want to, a place they will never find"

"Everybody look at your hands"

"As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right"

In a overly-hyped, but dawning era of AIDS in the 1980's, masterbation and abstinence were considered essential safety behaviors - masterbation being the Safety Dance.

A similar song was Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself".

"Where's Steve?", Dana asked.

"Oh, he's probably in the bathroom doing the Safety Dance", replied Dan.

SSS-AAA-FFF-EEE-TTT-YYY SAFETY DANCE!

by Danno456 November 12, 2006