Something a man has no choice to resort to when most of the women he messes with:
a.) are at work
b.) are at school
c.) don't feel like fucking
d.) don't feel like PICKING UP THE GOD DAMNED PHONE!!!!
a.) are at work
b.) are at school
c.) don't feel like fucking
d.) don't feel like PICKING UP THE GOD DAMNED PHONE!!!!
No examples for masturbation needed! You know damn well what I'm talking about, and if not, TOO GOD DAMNED BAD!
by YungPimp June 21, 2007
Someone who is an excellent bait user when fishing. These people enjoy a simple life and usually do not like inappropriate online content.
Person1: Hey, did you see the latest video on Pornhub?
Person2: Eww, no way, I'm a masturbator
Person1: Oh, so do you like fishing?
Person2: nO, i'M a MaStUrBaToR tHaT dOeSn'T lIkE fIsHiNg. Yes I love fishing!
Person3: Hey guys, what's going on?
Person1: Shut the fuck up!
Person2: Yea, nobody likes you!
Person2: Eww, no way, I'm a masturbator
Person1: Oh, so do you like fishing?
Person2: nO, i'M a MaStUrBaToR tHaT dOeSn'T lIkE fIsHiNg. Yes I love fishing!
Person3: Hey guys, what's going on?
Person1: Shut the fuck up!
Person2: Yea, nobody likes you!
by Staac October 12, 2019
When you're horny enough, what you do when you're too chicken or virginal to grab a partner to do it with you. Can be simple or complex; depending on how horny or depraved you are.
Guys: stroke their penis.
Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves.
Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.
Guys: stroke their penis.
Girls: rub their clitoris in a circular motion, or stick various objects inside themselves.
Guys usually find masturbation through friends, whereas girls tend to find it on their own.
Guy: Ahhh. Playboy.
Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex.
Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction.
Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow! Wow! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)
Girl: Ahhh. Porn and cyber sex.
Guy: Oooh... oooh... wow, those boobs are HUGE... (mentally: Damn, why can't I get a girl? Oh well, I'll masturbate) whoa... (slips hands into pants)... yeah... yeah... (strokes himself)...holy shit, she's hot... whoa... (comes) Ahhh. Satisfaction.
Girl: Wait, she does what? (aroused) He sticks his... oh... (fantasizes about opening door and grabbing boy next door but knows she is only a virgin... Sex can wait, masturbate!)... he flips up her skirt... sucks on her breast...ahh... (slips one hand under blouse, other inside underwear)...omigosh, he's eating her out...(strokes her clitoris in a slow circular motion)... Wow! Wow! (picks up speed) Omigosh, this is so hot! (moans) Oh... (screams expletives in ecstasy)... ahh...ah...(explodes in pleasure) Ahhh. (sticks finder inside for good measure, then pulls it out and smiles in bliss)
by una chica fantastica January 04, 2006
Mike performed masturbation on his bed conforter & it left a stain(the stain is still there,true story.)
by Mike_Coolman104 June 20, 2009
"Hi, you busy?" "Yeah" "What are you doing?" "Masturbating" "Wanna go catch a movie instead?" "Sure"
by TiCyB August 01, 2006
Freeing ur tadpoles;Rubbing your dick until it hardens to the core and a white subtance called SPERM also known as cum oozes out and in some cases it leaks out.
Joe:my science teacher told me that sperms look like tadpoles
Jim:So?
Joe:I thought of not being cruel to them.So once i reached home,i freed them :-)
Jim:Actually that's wat i do during my free time,I masturbate.
Joe:Oh,ok...
Jim:So?
Joe:I thought of not being cruel to them.So once i reached home,i freed them :-)
Jim:Actually that's wat i do during my free time,I masturbate.
Joe:Oh,ok...
by Siddiq March 28, 2008
For males it is playing with your wang or joystick on your crotch till you ejaculate white semen. For chicks it's the same except it's their vagina.
Try this: Master of debating(say it quickly and it sounds like masturbating)
Try this: Master of debating(say it quickly and it sounds like masturbating)
Ex: Sarah: Hey what are you doing in the room? Kevin: Well I'm masturbating to porn so don't come in. Sarah: o_O Okay! talk to you later then.
by Mr.Craze February 19, 2009