Finance Granola (noun):
A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.
A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.
by FG Buff November 11, 2025
Get the Finance Granola mug.When you are having sex with someone from behind, pull out, and jizz in their hair without telling them about it. Then, in the morning when they wake up and run their fingers through their hair, and run into the crunchy, crusty, and clumpy mess, and say “what the hell is this”, you point and loudly yell “Granola Sunrise!!”
I gave my wife a Granola Sunrise last Saturday. Been sleeping in the garage ever since. Totally worth it.
by Distracted Cosmonaut June 9, 2024
Get the Granola Sunrise mug.by Real_hippie September 19, 2023
Get the Granola cluster mug.One of the most mysterious aliases of the culprit and war criminal, 'Joe Willy'.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola is an insane egotistical maniac who wants to kill the Russian president.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
by Joe_Willy July 31, 2023
Get the Noah Granola mug.a heterosexual white man that finishes after a singular stroke because of his built up testosterone from watching anime porn, usually named some basic shit like will or jackson
by akhxloqnx July 10, 2022
Get the granola mug.* "Did you hear the cry of that rare native bird?"
"No, out of my way granola gobbler"
* "I need my $700 boots, walking poles, gaiters and goretex before I even think of walking up that hill."
"Hmm. You're a fucking granola gobbler"
* "Dude, nice polypropylene leggings. I didn't know you were such a granola gobbler"
* "Granola gobbler!"
"No, out of my way granola gobbler"
* "I need my $700 boots, walking poles, gaiters and goretex before I even think of walking up that hill."
"Hmm. You're a fucking granola gobbler"
* "Dude, nice polypropylene leggings. I didn't know you were such a granola gobbler"
* "Granola gobbler!"
by anonymous January 17, 2026
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