clutter blindness

A condition that occurs as a result of living in and around so much miscellaneous debris and detritus (AKA clutter), that it becomes impossible to see the object you’re looking for. Symptoms are exacerbated when said object is nestled in the mess, right in front of your face. The worst symptoms of clutter blindness seem to peak when the missing object is small, easily recognizable, of great value and/or importance, especially when you could swear to Christ you just had the goddamned thing a second ago.

wanted to go out with you guys really badly, but I spent the whole weekend suffering from clutter blindness. I was searching for my grandmother’s engagement ring, which is very valuable, shiny, important, and I desperately needed to find so I could propose to Jennifer. Luckily the clutter blindness briefly lifted after a week of searching and I was able to see that it had been on my coffee table the entire time, nestled amidst a collection of Snapple and 2-liter bottle caps, various writing utensils, two full dinner services worth of flatware, and the two sets of keys I already lost this year the exact same way, and which yes, I was coincidentally looking for! Thank you so much for asking!

by RedesignThePinecones July 26, 2021

Beauty blind

Think you look good but in reality you’re ugly

Mataya is beauty blind

by Colemole12 August 7, 2021

Beauty blind

When you think you're attractive/ good looking but in reality you aren’t

Mataya is beauty blind

by Colemole12 August 7, 2021

colour blind test

stop, this isn't a browser >:(

if you want a colour blind test use Google Chrome

by CarlosTheTurtle September 4, 2021

The blind robbing the blind

When you have a willing buyer and a willing seller and no money there is a hole in the asset market.

When someone ignorant tries to steal from someone else ignorant

Did you see any of the blind robbing the blind?

by Patrick the Starfish001 September 11, 2021

sugar blind

The loss if sight due to diabetes.

I knew she would go sugar blind. Her favorite meal was a mashed-potato sandwich.

by timmerfee September 21, 2021

The Blind Monkey

if yo momma ask you “hand me that remote right there” & you mumble “you better ask the blind monkey” that “ask the blind monkey” shit replaces the look you give her when she saying bullshit before she pop yo ass

“you’re late to class again, i’ll be making a phone call to your mother asking why you’re always late” okay bitch you better ask the blind monkey

by swagmastermf November 22, 2021