Wank rags

Tabloid newspapers in the United Kingdom, simply and sensationally written, and politically biased. Often containing photographs of scantily clad (and sometimes) nude women. Also referred to as "Red Tops", for their red nameplate. Examples include The Sun, The Daily Star & The Daily Mirror

"Tomorrow - from broadsheets to wank rags - I want pages one, two and three to be a profile of Tom looking like a fucking political colossus, you know - Tom meeting the Pope, Tom in a NHS hospital chatting to little, baldie kiddies." - Malcolm Tucker (The Thick of It)

by PeterMannion May 1, 2019

Ad wank

A challenge of wanking during an advert break and climaxing before your television programme returns. The ability to do so can vary depending on the content and length of the adverts.

Today, I succeeded with my first ad wank. I'm officially an ad wanker.

by Mottymania May 9, 2019

Thomas the wank engine

That one friend that’s always honey

Me: have you seen Harry, he’s being a proper Thomas the wank engine today

by The one and only me October 3, 2019

Wanked

Completely Drunk

Wasted

Pissed

I’m going to get wanked tonight

Look he’s completely wanked

by Truthbomb22 August 19, 2019

Wank station

A small area dedicated to the upkeep and maintenance of ones manhood

I put a big shift in last night at the wank station really feeling it today

by Uncleboozer August 22, 2019

Trouser wank

When a girl or guy feels up a guys dick through is trousers

“How far have you gone?”
“I gave Jack a trouser wank”

by Penis_nose August 26, 2019

soaky pokey bum wank

Also known as: one crease, a finger through the tissue, a rear breach, backdoor assailant, pushing the button and backdoor delight.

A common practice by the straight man to massage and finger ones rear passage while stroking the baby cannon.

Those not partaking in such delights have known to bat for the other team and play WOW. AKA R.Dixon.

Ah yeah, last night I had a takeaway and a soaky pokey bum wank. Absolute treat.

by Ben Fender September 8, 2019