asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010

Turtle-Tonguing

Eating that cooch shamefully, similar to how a turtle pokes its head out

Being bad at given a female oral

“How was last night, did he go down on you?”

“Well… something like that, he ended up turtle-tonguing me, it was painfully slow and anticlimactic”

by Cowhide19 August 12, 2025

Pyjama Turtle

Someone who uses protection after they already have protection because they are a paranoid pillock.

"So did you do it?"
"Yeah but he had 3 condoms on, such a pyjama turtle"

"Maybe i should bring extra, just in case"
"Dude don't be a pyjama turtle"

by Pyjama Turtle November 18, 2011

Speed Turtle

An individual who attempts to cover many goals in life in the longest possible time. Aspirations that are slow or non existent.

Brittney: Al would like to accomplish many things in life.

John : Unfortunately he`s suffering from being a speed turtle.

by True Canadian2010 September 9, 2010

helpless turtle

When your girl decides to be dominant as fuck and she sits on you while you're on your back so you can't get up

Bro I got fucking helpless turtled last night

by Luxemo January 5, 2018

turtle lee

A guy who plays video games sucks, he's short and has small eyes

Turtle lee small

by Cool guy go to be man November 20, 2022

turtle wash

verb; to cause pain.
used when you are going to do something bad to someone; funny way to scare someone and have them have no idea what you even mean.. until now

"im gonna turtle wash your ass!"

by L Pea-lunk November 28, 2009