Monkey Pumper

one who masturbates; one who jerks off; one who chokes one's chicken; one who strokes one's cork while massaging one's grapes

Employee1: Man, why is the boss such a jerk?!
Employee2: Ah, don't worry dude, he's just busin' your balls cause he's a monkey pumper.

by Drjerkle September 22, 2009

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monkey text

Random words or text, as if written by monkeys banging on typewriters.

The text message you sent me was just monkey text.

by Loadmaster March 31, 2010

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Someone who just sits on the porch all day talking smack. Usually referred to someone black.

Jose Rojas does nothing but play xbox and is an EXTREME Porch Monkey!!!!

by BeastPerson July 18, 2012

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Meep-Monkey: MEEP! MEEP!

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A particular individual who is notorious for drinking the popular street drug known as lean, generally a black person from the ghetto

by Edgy hedgy June 19, 2017

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When one drags his nuts across the scree of an unattended cell phone of either an unsuspecting victim or arch enemy.

That prick left his phone on his desk, so I gave him the sweaty monkey.

by XLBOSTON December 01, 2015

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A person with big eyes that are far apart. Attractive but something is a little off.

That guy was really hot from behind, but when he turned around he was a fish monkey! Dammit

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