William Santamaria

A William Santamaria is typically a tall (6’3, at the least), handsome, has beautiful, sharp defined features and flowing black locks. He is likely Columbian, which means he has big feet, among other things. He may appear, on the outside, to be a beer, rollin and football God, but if you get to know him, he’s so much more. He likely has hidden talents, usually of artistic nature, and is a slug lord. Yes, slugs as in shelll-less snails will flock to his feet. If you tame a wild William, he will love you until you break his heart . But adopting such a wild beast comes with percussions. Firstly, his mood swings are has big as his feet. He can become easily enraged. For example, he may punch a hole in his wall if he runs out of socks. Just be patient, for soon he will return to his angle state. On the other hand, his behavior sometimes will resemble that of a little boy. If you fit his needs, having a pet William can be very rewarding.

Care guide:
- provide Wendy’s baconators on a regular basis

- share his enthusiasm of hellcats
- give him lots of reassurance of your love for him
- protect him from the gaze of other females, particularly MILFs. If he is kindly buying you ice cream, there is a good chance that the cashier is eyeing him down. Show obnoxious expressions of PDA to reinforce your claim over your prized pet.

“Woah, who’s that tall hottie. Do you think I have a chance with him?” girl 1

“Oh, that’s William Santamaria. He’d probably accidentally step on you if you got too close. And no, no you don’t have a chance with him. His girl’s fire.” - girl 2

by Upside Down up and Around July 16, 2022

Flag

Get the William Santamariamug.

Mr. Williams

The coolest teacher anyone could ask for. He will recommend books that will make you cry and drag into 2-hour conversations about dogs (no complaints here). Definitely the type of teacher who’s lessons you will never forget and indisputably is the best.

“You have Mr. Williams as your teacher?”

“Is that good?”

“Would you consider winning the lottery good?”
(true story btw)

by jociexxstars December 17, 2022

Flag

Get the Mr. Williamsmug.

William

THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER

William: hi im William
me: don't know what I was thinking
Leaving my child behind
Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind
With all this anger, guilt and sadness
Coming to haunt me forever
I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river
… Is this revenge I am seeking?
Or seeking someone to avenge me?
Stuck in my own paradox, I wanna set myself free
Maybe I should chase and find
Before they'll try to stop it
It won't be long before I'll become a puppet
… It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song so I could ponder
The sanity of your mother
… I wish I lived in the present
With the gift of my past mistakes
But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes
Your sweet little eyes, your little smile is all I remember
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper
… Justification is killing me
But killing isn't justified
What happened to my son? I'm terrified
It lingers in my mind
And the thought keeps on getting bigger
I'm sorry my sweet baby, I wish I've been there
… It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song so I could ponder
The sanity of your mother

by anonymous June 11, 2023

Flag

Get the Williammug.

William Trott

The name William refers to being an absolute badass, while the name Trott refers to a trotter, or someone who rules over all others. William Trott is loved by all, and never fails to succeed in his work. He is also a great businessman, which means he is rich or will be rich in the near future. If you are friends with someone names William Trott, just know that your life is in good hands. (Side note: make sure to never shorten his name to “Will”)

All hail William Trott!

by Specified June 27, 2024

Flag