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Gluten douche

There are many kinds of hipster ass thorns: the vegetarian, the vegan, the juice cleanse, the diet, the peanut allergy (I KNOW ITS NOT A CHOICE BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY I DONT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT GOD YOURE WORSE THAN THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT GUY!)

However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
Guy 1: “Oh god it’s the gluten douche.”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”
by I knew the whole time June 26, 2018
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douche it out

Ever find yourself stuck in a moment when you wish you could cleanse yourself free from lifes filth?

Then take a moment to douche it out, meaning to start over again with a clean slate.
"I can't believe I just caught my parents having sex. I need to douche it out and forget it happened."
by jaminique June 14, 2014
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river douche

River douche: A person who may or may not live at home with his/her parents, may or may not pay any bills, doesn't have a significant other or children. Spends more money on fishing gear/tackle then he makes.

Fishes his $1200.00 Lamiglass Center pin set up and releases his fish when people are watching, otherwise he is flossing with his ugly stick at the tubes and blowing up small rivers and streams on FB. This "River Douche" also loves to do "how to" videos and tells everyone else in the world how they should fish and/or how they should release them. If you are not running the "River Douche's" favorite, Rod manufacture, Reel Manufacture or Bead Manufactures products, you are much lower than him and you will not catch fish. He and his "posse" do videos, with or without drones, on the rivers and blow great, once unknown, fishing spots up on FB so more "River Douche's" can fish there without putting in the leg work and destroying the fishery with 25 people fishing a 15ft hole.

Also might be a closet homosexual. Probably drives a red truck and is known to be a great dishwasher.
Hey John, did you see that River Douche blow up, said river on FB? He was so proud of that 7lb steelhead that he had to take a photo and not hide the background. He is quite the River Douche.
by Reel Truth October 9, 2019
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douche manoeuvre

He did an upper decker for no reason, what a douche manoeuvre.
by Dr Womble September 13, 2017
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douche rinse

The definition of an aggressive driver that pulls in front of you, cuts you off and then hits the brakes. This is a person that you watch drive in front of you, while thinking to yourself how can I run over this person and get away with it?
God, what a douche rinse! Thanks alot douche rinse for pulling in front of me and cutting me off!
by aptpitbull92563 January 19, 2017
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Douche Bag

Anyone who appears or watches a reality television show.
Hey man, American Idol is on in 5 minutes.

Fuck off mate, that show is full of Douche Bag's
by Ceebus May 17, 2009
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toe douche

when you dont want to deal with a pedicure, you simply want to clean the fuck out of one toe
pedicures are too expensive, imma get a toe douche to clean this baby out
by Spy300 June 16, 2011
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