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better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick 

Phrase describing a situation that isn't very good, but could be worse.
How was your holiday visiting your grandma?

Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.

fuck me hard up the arse with a stick 

A statement that is said in the event of utter disbelief, or in shock, awe, etc.
Dave: "Alex, did you know that we're all going to die in three seconds?"
Alex: "Fuck me hard up the arse with a stick!"

Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick 

Pier: How was last night's SSS?
Chappo: Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.

Stick it in the pan 

Verb.

To stick something in the pan. The process of becoming stuck to a pan. To be stuck to a pan. If you wish to be stuck to a pan, you must first stick it in the pan.
"Shtick it in the pan hai"
"Stick it in the pan"
"Shicki ina wok" (Chinese)

hit the acorn with a stick 

When someone went to far saying an insult or something bad to a person
girl: “hope you end up in a grave soon; you dumb prick
boy: “wow you really hit the acorn with a stick”

stick one in the bin 

To reserve a pint of beer for a friend who is not yet at the bar. Payment is usually made in advance.
I'll have a pint of Old Scrote, Landlord. Can you stick one in the bin for Pete - he'll be along in 10 minutes.