A Turd Monger is somebody that produces particularly strong, foul smelling bowel movements. This individual can be an extreme source of frustration to others that happen to walk into a restroom recently utilized by this culprit or happen to share occupancy in a restroom when this offender decides to unload. It can be even more frustrating if you walk into a polluted restroom unknowingly after the perpetrating Turd Monger used it, do an immediate about face and pass someone else on the way in. They immediately assume you're the pollutant and give you the look of death.
Holly shit, I was about to hit the head when I saw that Turd Monger Jimmy Brown walking out. The last time I was nailed by the fumes of his posterior emissions my eyes burned for hours. Christ, at my worst, I can't come close to what comes out of his crack. I'm surprised the smoke detectors didn't go off. No wonder the fucking ozone is disappearing!
by Big Ed Moustapha July 22, 2010
Get the Turd Monger mug.Despite your best efforts, there are some things you just can't fix/improve.
To point out futile attempts to conceal/change the baisc nature of something.
To point out futile attempts to conceal/change the baisc nature of something.
1) Joe: Danny's back in town. He lost a bunch of weight, got a nose job, got hair plugs and now wears really flashy clothes but he's still one ugly motherfucker.
Jim: Well, you can't polish a turd.
2) The comb-over hairstyle
Jim: Well, you can't polish a turd.
2) The comb-over hairstyle
by henryj May 12, 2006
Get the Can't polish a turd mug.Related Words
turducken
• Turdulence
• Turduckin
• turdus
• turdunken
• turduckening
• turdum
• Turdunkin
• turdur
• turducka
by jibby gibson July 25, 2010
Get the Turd-surfer mug.To Chrome a Turd....... or Turd Chroming is a process of Making the the very best out of a blatantly bad/shit thing. Similar to Turd polishing but to a much higher level
The Turd Chromer is he individual who performs the polishing act
the ultimate in making a bad thing good.
To Chrome a Turd.......
The Turd Chromer is he individual who performs the polishing act
the ultimate in making a bad thing good.
To Chrome a Turd.......
Mik is in the Studio turd Chroming again and doing another Hard House Remix.
He has the Midas Touch amongst Musicians and natural Chrome Poishing abilities....
He has the Midas Touch amongst Musicians and natural Chrome Poishing abilities....
by Rick Walford January 5, 2008
Get the Turd Chroming mug."What is a fart, but the lonely cry of an imprisoned turd", "This turd is crying to get out", "hold your noses, I just let out a Turd Cry"
by Darth Bawls February 4, 2009
Get the Turd Cry mug.When someone defecates in a toilet which has very little water. The poo lands on the edge of the toilet basin and is not completely submerged, creating a deadly stank which diffuses beyond the bathroom throughout the whole house.
Man, can you smell that? I think it's coming from the bathroom downstairs... Tina must have left a beached turd in my toilet.
by Catatafish22 July 13, 2011
Get the Beached Turd mug.A devious sex move in which the female has to poop on the male's side of the bed and then pretend like she didn't and that it's not funny
F: Hey baby, want me to amber turd tn?
M: Sorry babe, can't watch you amber turd, my dog stepped on a bee
M: Sorry babe, can't watch you amber turd, my dog stepped on a bee
by GBalbo3odSw4g May 27, 2022
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