Finance Granola

A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.

Sammy is climbing after work while easting a sea oil free tuna sandwich, he's so finance granola.

by FG Buff November 11, 2025

Granola Stomp

The desire to or actually have sex with those who are "hippie" or "granola" even though they may not be your normal sexual tastes. Kombucha is usually involved.

Subarus, rock climbing, all natural or sporadic bathing habits, and a dash of B.O. are typical traits of these "granola" or "hippie" folk.

Usually a one time experimental experience.

I would totally granola stomp that chick.

I had a granola stomp last night.

by a-letto March 19, 2021

Granola Bar

Something that C2s use fake friendships in order to get.

The C2 uses it's amazing fake friendship technique in order to obtain this spectacular granola bar.

by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 28, 2021

granola top

A bland bisexual man

Shannon look at the granola top standing by the bar.

by Yougaybastard March 28, 2020

granola

Someone who is in their 20-30s, who distinguishes him or herself by not conforming to the modern twenty something trends. Someone who shows distaste in 'hipster' things, conservative beliefs, religion, and anything that is the traditional norm such as weddings.

"I hate girls who take pics of coffee in a hipster cafe just for instagram. Just enjoy the moment and not touch your phone for a day!"
"Wow you are so granola."

"I want to live in a van for a year and travel the world with little money and stay off the grid!"
"Your instagram is all nature, so granola!"

by quidproquoamend11 June 30, 2018

Granola cluster

A late 1980s term used by kids to describe hippie wannabes.

Man, that person in bell-bottoms is a real granola cluster.

by Real_hippie September 19, 2023

Granola Stop

When one is cockblocked by a vegan.

I was gonna try to score with that frat girl but that guy with the dreads and a hemp necklace granola stopped me.

by BigDamClay April 23, 2022