New York State University Police 

A band of heroic legendary police officers sworn to protect the universities and colleges of the New York's SUNY system.

Challenged by the quarells of protecting millions of staff, faculty, and students.

Dedicated to justice. Enforcing the law and protecting life liberty and property.

Also they have bad ass hats and uniforms.

They are trained by police academies recognized by the new york state department of criminal justice services.

They seek to one day have all the departments at different SUNY schools to become centralized; thus, so they will be more organized, run more efficiently, and better be able to protect and serve the people of NYS.

There are approximately 40 of them at stony brook university. about 3 to 6 usualy work per 8.25 hour tour. At stony brook they are responsible for the safety of over 40,000 people during the day. That includes faculty, staff, students, the University Hospital patients, and all other people who have business there.

God bless them. Every one of them.

Note: Sometimes refered to as NYSUP or UPD, or by the specific department like SUPD (StonyBrook University Police department).

Those New York State University Police cops are pretty fucking hot. I wonder if i can seduce one to have my babies. I wonder if he'll tie me and and let me ride him all night.

The New York State University Police saved my life when i got drunk and passed out in the snow over winter.

The New York State University Police caught the guy who assaulted me and stole my wallet.

New York State University Police by Awesome Pirate Warrior October 6, 2010

University of Alabama 

a university in alabama known for mediocre football teams and average academics. the only decent thing about this clown suit of a school is that there are some pretty hot ass bitches that hang around the campus.

i would rather eat a shit sandwich than attend the university of alabama

University of Alabama by troy October 31, 2003

Norwich University 

Name One Reason Why I Came Here:
Norwich, placed in Northfield, VT, is a private military school filled with faux pride, rampant homosexuality, massive stick-up-the-ass syndrome, terrible internet, and the best prison-food you will ever eat.

The slogan "Norwich Forever" alludes to either the stids you will never get rid of, the financial ruin you can never recover from, or the horrid images you can never unsee.

Incidentally, you may want to sow a condom on your dick.

Cadet 1: Man, Norwich is so gay, I could roast marshmallows on these flames.
Cadet 2: Norwich forever, bro.

Professor: Why did you attend Norwich University?
Student: Uh, well, it's.... ugh, it's got my major? kind of? Uhm... I... uh... I don't really know.. Norwich, you know?

Norwich University by thatswaggotcivi September 18, 2013

Mount Saint Mary's College/University

A quaint little shithole in the middle nowhere, and by nowhere I mean Emmitsburg, MD. A place where the Keystone flows like wine, and Chad Smith, class of 2006 is the community cum dumpster. An institution where the fun police await to pounce on unsuspecting students from behind every corner and within every shadow.

Chad Smith: Do you have any beer?
Brent Bacon: Yes, but only if you bang me.

Mount Saint Mary's College/University by Chad Smith April 1, 2005

University of Toronto 

A post-secondary institution in Toronto where people go to get a piece of paper that is supposed to earn them a tiny bit of prestige.

Pros: Some nice architecture, pretty flexible due dates (in the humanities at least), central location, profs usually know what they're talking about, huge ass libraries.

Cons: Some ugly-as-shit buildings, elitist/bitchy classmates (who also come with a hint of classism), nonexistent social scene.

Neutral: Profs mark a bit harder compared to other institutions, but with loose due dates it doesn't actually make a difference.

---
StudentA: Where are you going next year?

StudentB: I'm going to the University of Toronto! So prestigious, eh?

StudentA: Well, I'm going to "insert Ivy League here", so suck it.

StudentB: T.T

University of Toronto by uni-corn November 25, 2011

American University

The "THANK YOU" American University List

1. THANK YOU AU for making me wait 45 minutes for shuttle and additional 30 minutes while driver takes a shit

2. THANK YOU AU for closing health center on the weekends so I can cough blood in my room without treatment

3. THANK YOU AU for building gym as small as possible for 5000 undergrads

4. THANK YOU AU for taking Jamba Juice out and replacing it with Pure Vida, THAT REALLY MAKES FUCKING SENSE

5. THANK YOU AU for hiring prison inmates as full time employees

6. THANK YOU AU for lying to potential applicants during tours by saying that current AU students have rights and influence on school

7. THANK YOU AU for having any food vendor on campus open late at night

8. THANK YOU AU for signing 16 year contract with "bon appetite" to give us more moldy bread and 13 different types of potatoes per day

9. THANK YOU AU for blackboard which is the fucking worst system ever created and I AM SO PROUD that AU alumni created it

10. THANK YOU AU for still having school on major holidays like President's Day THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE CONSIDERING WE ARE IN D.C. AND EVERY OTHER SCHOOL IN DISTRICT HAS OFF

AU STUDENT "Hey AU, can I set up a lemonade stand outside MGC since its such a hot day?
AU ADMIN "Sorry kid, American University doesn't let students do anything unless you fill out these 35 forms and get the signatures of every government official in our administration. We'll probably get back to you in 5 months with our response. In the meantime, just go to TDR and drink some of our all natural watered down minute-maid lemonade."

American University by aueagle February 28, 2008

Southern Polytechnic State University 

A school located within the city of Marietta, Georgia, most noteable for its extremely aggravating circumstance of lack of females and its resulting devastation of young men who come there hoping for new opportunity..

1. Welcome to Southern Polytechnic State University - where our women look like horses yet even so you won't be getting any because even they are all taken...

2. SPSU is 99.3225% male

Southern Polytechnic State University by anonymous dissapointed virgin September 14, 2007