Turtle

A VSCO girls favorite animal

Is that a plastic straw?!?! *slaps plastic straw out of hand* Here you can use my metal one! Save the turtles!!! SKSKSKSK!!

by steppedindogpee November 16, 2019

turtle-eenie-weenie

An extravagant method of describing something so cute and minute that it forces the exclaimer to explain it in absolute nonsensical reptilian terms.

oh my goodness this babies toes are so turtle-eenie-weenies

by vapegodalbert April 22, 2022

sea turtle me

When she has her partner place his flacid penis that resembles a sea turtle head in her mouth and allows the turtle (penis to get erect) inside.

I am bored come sea turtle me.

by Definition magician April 9, 2021

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

turtles

Worse than llamas because llamas are awesome.

turtles are noobier than llamas

by Acritus April 20, 2017

turtle bath

A bath that is extremely cold and causes the males penis to shrivel up like a turtle. Usually taken for injuries or fevers. Only can happen to a male since they have penises.

I had to take a turtle bath last week to help my fever go down, my junk was practically gone since it was so cold!

by Thewolfsdove June 10, 2016

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010