schlong-goggles

Much the same as beer goggles, though no alcohol is required; i.e the man's schlong makes a terrible, terrible decision about a girl best left alone. The brain is hardly involved, if at all.

This may occur after many months of sexual frustration, or simply if he is a slag.

verb; to schlong-goggle

"jesus tom, what were you thinking?"
"i don't know man, i definitely had my schlong-goggles on"

"however hard tom tried, he simply could not remove the schlong-goggles from his eyes"

by rural_dictionater January 12, 2010

Sausage schlong

The act of taking a condom, pooping inside of it and tying it shut, and then using it for insertive pleasure. Can also be frozen for a harder feel

Melissa told me that she used a sausage schlong last night since her boyfriend is out of town.

by EdgyMeemStar January 22, 2018

Schlong Shot

Like a dick pic only schlonger.

I always have mixed feelings about unsolicested schlong shots. On the one hand, Ew, on the other hand... dayum!

Nick asked me to send nudes last night, but I made him send me a schlong shot first!

by Kinn Notap May 21, 2017

Kong Schlong

A cheap yet powerful energy drink sold by the European supermarket chain Lidl, it goes by the name of Kong Strong. Tastes like the oil you just drained out of your engine after a 100,000 mile road trip, mixed in with some low quality cocaine and blackcurrant flavouring. Do be careful however as this is not one substance you want to mess with. Drink too many and you'll find yourself shirtless, with your huge belly hanging out as you're nearing death on the bathroom floor of an Amsterdam Hotel. This drink literally makes you feel as though King Kong has done you nicely with his Schlong. So take care with the Kong, or you'll get the Schlong.

Hey man, have you tried some of this Kong Strong?

Are you stupid? Do you want to feel the Kong Schlong?

Oh jeez, I guess you're right.

by DonLykeB March 18, 2019

schlong nugget

When a penis is dipped into different variety of sauces and licked off while your in a car.

Crystal: last night I gave mike the best feeling in the world "schlong nugget" with some hot sauce.

Chelsea: ewwww girl try it with ranch!

by JENNASABADBITCH August 23, 2011

Massive Schlong

a MASSIVE wang

"Derek has a massive schlong" said Brenda

by LORD Schlong February 16, 2018

schlong-slap

To be slapped with one's schlong.

1) I was fed up with her, so I decided to whip it out and give her a much needed schlong-slapping.
2) I really got schlong-slapped with work today at the office.
3) Whoever was working on this before me really deserves a Grade-A schlong-slap to the dome.
4) I decided to work out this afternoon and perfect my schlong-slap technique.

by bluzebrother April 7, 2010