Santa

Fake person that your parents tell you is real and comes once a year when it’s actually your parents and they want you to be 5 and think it’s real

*chrismas eve*Parents:Santa is coming tonight!You have to go to bed early.
Parents at 12 am:*Puts presents under tree*

Santa by Therandombee November 27, 2019

Santa

Your Mums credit card
This is why you get such shitty presents.

He unfortunately doesn't stalk you every night but your parents do, And it's not because they want to give you the right present.

Friend: Santa isn't real
Me: yes he is
Friend: were is your proof
Me: last time I checked he was in my mums purse

Santa by Some sadist November 30, 2019

Santa

Your parents.

Sarah: Mommy whos {Santa}

Mom: *slowly backs away*

Santa by avenia November 30, 2019

Santa

Santa is your parents all fake don’t believe it. I can’t believe I believed this bs.

SANTA IS A FAKE BICH.

Santa by Thick bish January 15, 2020

Santa

The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the history of the world.

Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the humans

Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL

Parents: he wishes Santa was real.

Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*

Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*

Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!

Santa by Sir.Person July 18, 2020

Santa

Santa is a stalker that eats children once a year. He only watches when you’re unconscious, and uses the facade of presents to keep doing what he’s doing. His whole lineage does this, the real Santa was shot a long time ago by someone on the right side of history

Oh shit it’s santa season

Santa by jesuis christ August 6, 2020

Santa

The obese Unholy being that can manage to go down the tiniest chimney in existence. He is literally god, he can see you everywhere, and he'll check your behavior like a babysitter.

Child: I LOVE SANTA

Dream Crusher: He sneaks into your house, steals your stuff, feels bad and gives you some of the things he doesn't use, then he leaves reality until December 25th.

Child: My mother shall hear about this

Child: I LOVE SANTA

Dream Crusher: He sneaks into your house, steals your stuff, feels bad and gives you some of the things he doesn't use, then he leaves reality until December 25th.

Child: My mother shall hear about this

Santa by Sir.Person August 31, 2020