Cheesman Excuse

An incredibly poor excuse that even the perpetrator knows is so horrendously appalling it's an insult to the intelligence of the listener.

Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I'm very tired.
Innocent Bystander: It's 1 o' clock in the afternoon.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I have to revise.
Innocent Bystander: You don't go to school. Wait a minute! That wasn't an excuse at all! It was a mere Cheesman Excuse, designed to put me off while you make your escape! Little do you know your days playing the bass are over, for you have been usurped by a superior artist!
Frankie: (Of Frankie and the fat kids) I'm taking this.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): Er, okay.

by Dom (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans) September 3, 2008

excuse me miss

A phrase uttered right before penetrating a girl so hard, you tear her perineum

Sam "excuse me miss"
Trisha "what?...AHHHH"

by Wilshire July 3, 2008

Weak Excuse

An attempt to explain your motives, which ends in a horribly epic fail.

"Our country was founded by Christians"- A weak excuse to explain why we should separate separation of church and state.

"I was curious..."- A weak excuse to cover your tracks for knocking a girl up.

by Brian Wolffe January 5, 2009

excusecraft

A subset of corporate communication that involves developing plausible explanations for what went disastrously wrong with a project, usually to avoid responsibility as an outcome of blamestorming.

The client isn't buying that they lost our phone message about the missed deadline -- better start practicing some excusecraft.

by drwende July 8, 2005

excuseapedia

a person who is always making up excuses

Krista Leach is an excuseapedia. She always has a reason for why things aren't done.

by laleach3 August 19, 2011

abuse excuse

Silly little lies made up by those in the unfortunate position of being in abusive relationships, but aren't ready to deal with it yet.

That po' bitch need a new abuse excuse fo' all da' beatdowns she be gittin!

by abuseexcuse.org August 30, 2013

tactical excuse

An excuse or set of excuses that removes or points the blame of poor performance or poor planning on ones equipment, other operators, or acts of god such as weather.

Operator 1: Hey what seems to be the issue, you were just laughing at how easy this was going to be a few days ago?
Operator 2: The sun is in my eyes, and its so cold I can't complete simple tasks, but mostly I'm hungry and when that happens I get dizzy. Any other time non of this would not be an issue.
Operator 1: Damn, your full of tactical excuses... go change your manpon.

by trevp April 15, 2015