crisis barnacle

Someones who manufactures a crisis as an excuse to attach themselves to others.

The office crisis barnacle's parasitic grip on the boss tightened with her every phony squeal for help.

by snakeplisskent July 19, 2019

Barnacle Stroking

To scrub oneself while taking a cold shower.

Guy 1 "Bro I had such a nice time barnacle Stroking it last night."
Guy 2 "I'm not a fan of the cold, but you do you bro."

by Biggus-Meatus June 10, 2025