Jesus chords

The basic major and minor chord shapes, as generally played on an acoustic guitar. They are commonly referred to as the 'Jesus chords' simply because they make up the majority of Christian worship music. Singer/songwriters are also well-known for playing these chords frequently in their music.

A guitarist who is only playing 'Jesus chords' (and not using a capo) will rarely, if ever, move his hand past the 4th fret.

Major chords:
E, F (barre), G, A, C, and D major

Minor chords:
E and A minor, B minor (movable), and barre chords that don't include the 3rd finger (movable)

I can kinda play guitar...well, I know the Jesus chords, at least.

by tenortoad July 18, 2012

jesutard

Noun.

1. Describing a person who is simultaneously Christian and stupid.
2. Any person who uses their belief in Jesus Christ as an excuse to willfully ignore the natural world.

3. A person who maintains power by perpetuating Christian beliefs which contradict the realities of nature
Adjective. jesutarded

1.Tammy Faye Bakker was a famous jesutard.
2. The Pope is jesutarded

by Frosty the Cold One April 8, 2015

Jesus cant spell

A fat lard mexican headass that cant spell and shoves shit up uis ass

Me:Yo jesus cant spell , you're a faggot
Jesus cant spell: goddamnit

by Asscheecks January 14, 2019

jesus slutty

dressing in a way that a somewhat sheltered catholic school kid would find extremely provocative, but a normal person would see as tame

the dress code for the dance was casual, so all the girls dressed jesus slutty

by dascholar September 11, 2019

Jesus Faist

A cultish fake religion created by theatre brats where participants worship Michael Faist.

"Sacrifice that little child over there for our lord and savor Jesus Faist"

by WhinnieDaPotatoSalad January 18, 2021

Jesus Moment

When an absolute dumbass creates an incredibly bullshit excuse to not do something.

(Not Jesus as in the son of god, but the mexican name Jesus)

Jesus: I can't turn in my work, the site is down!
Person 1: Jesus moment

by edp4452 January 8, 2022

Grilled Jesus

A grilled cheese sandwich that has been toasted in the image of Jesus

I can't eat that sandwich, I see the image of Jesus in it - it's a grilled Jesus

by fffrick January 20, 2011