Captain Turner

The act of dislodging one's eyeball from its socket with only a finger.

Ex: My baby with his crazy ass hands tries to Captain Turner me all the time.

If you don't quit looking at me, I'm going to Captain Turner your ass.

This movie is so horrible, I'm about to Captain Turner myself.

That girl is so ugly, it makes me want to Captain Turner my ass.

In the third season of Deadwood, Danny (Al Swearingen's bodyguard) and Captain Turner (George Hearst's bodyguard) have a showdown in the thoroughfare which results in Captain Turner getting his eyeball removed by Danny's index finger. It's pretty fucking nasty.

by BSwannie April 8, 2012

Shaft Captain

Another name for a Staff Captain in halo 3 but more related to being a Staff Captain in real life-being a noob at life, having a lot of experience but still is a noob. Used to describe a teenager most times.

Winston: damn look at that girls titties.
Sam: she's out of your league dude.
Winston: that girl is fineeeee.
Sam: ur such a Shaft Captain

by ddrew3 May 20, 2010

captains poke

When the captain of the boat whilst getting boathead pokes a finger up his ladies ass and yells cum about

My boy J pulled the old captains poke with his wifey Kathy while heading to The island

by spideyskin May 25, 2021

captain productivity

A person who spends the entire day in the pursuit of appearing to do work without actually achieving anything

Captain Productivity is still waiting for his document to print

by Captain Productivity January 29, 2007

The Captains Wheel

When 6-8 dudes all work each others dicks while in a circle, or all the dudes work one selected mans dick, while still forming a circle (eye patches, captains hats also can be added for style points)

the pledges had to endure The Captains Wheel this year. What a mess

by AZ and Marty July 28, 2011

Captain Butterfluff

(Sir Butterfluff by day) A super hero/villain on day 2 who only comes out in the snow. he wears a shower curtain cape, has a teaspoon as a weapon, has a crackly old man voice and sometimes combines the macarena with the chicken dance.

girl: "lol is that guy wearing a shower curtain??" Sir butterfluff: "ohh how very dare you! you silly old girl, for I am captain butterfluff!! oohhh"

by poasa ma'atasi June 13, 2013

Captain Phillips

When you slap your partner mid intercourse and proclaim "I am the captain now!" In the style of the popular Tom Hanks film Captain Phillips.

"Bang! I am the captain now!" - Captain Phillips
"John pulled the old Captain Philips on me last night! He really is the captain" - Captain Phillips
"Wtf John?" I am the captain now!" - Captain Phillips

by Jimthesmiley January 12, 2016