crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 12, 2015

porn crumpet

Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:

(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)

(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?

by ssflss January 10, 2023

tea & crumpets

something gingers eat for lunch

oh those tea & crumpets look nice

by GrannyNorma21 July 19, 2017

Steamed Crumpet

Dropping a juicy, ripe, musky turd in the gym steam room, cranking the heat and then heading for the showers.

It was as if a demon had sucked the air out of old Dorian’s lungs when he stepped into the steam room and was over come by the vaporous fog of Cedric’s steamed crumpet.

by Dick Onchin February 5, 2023

Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023

Crumpet ring

An anal stretching ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."

by lemlemlem May 11, 2018

Crumpet fucker

A slurr to use against the British

Get some braces you crumpet fucker

by Jack sparky October 21, 2023