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catholic handjob

The act of being masturbated and then before reaching climax the masturbator stops, sometimes in order to satisfy religious reasons of pre maritial pleasure and sometimes just becasue the woman is a lazy bitch
Wendy was so drunk that she started to jack me off but she fell asleep half way through so it ended up being a catholic handjob!
by obiwanshinobistrikesback April 21, 2018
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Lancaster Catholic

70% of the people here are nic fiends, 20% are gay, and everyone else is just wack. If you’re going to Lancaster Catholic just wait for all of the crazy people and events. It’s basically a cult
Friend: You’re going to Lancaster Catholic?
Me: Yeah I am!
Friend: Good luck, it’s a shit show
by SmellMyNuts42069 December 2, 2021
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Catholic rounding

When a Catholic priest encounters a person younger than them they apply the "Catholic rounding" technique to determine if they are of an "acceptable" age.

1. Determine your minimum "acceptable" partner age via the Half plus seven (HPS) rule.
2. If the person's age is less than the HPS result, but greater than or equal to the legal age of consent (LAC) in your country, apply Catholic rounding using the following formula:

Acceptable age = LAC

3. If the person's age is less than the HPS result and less than the LAC, apply the following:

Acceptable age = Person's age
She seems too young for me Father.
Well, have you tried Catholic rounding?
Much better, thanks! See you next Sunday.
by IDontCatholicRound January 1, 2019
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Designated Catholic

The person who is designated, at the beginning of a crazy night, to be the one who attends church the next morning in order to drop off everyone's money envelope.
Betty: I can't get too hammered tonight, gotta go to 8 AM mass tomorrow to represent the family and drop off that damn envelope.

Sue: Chill Betty, Sally's got you covered. Didn't you hear she's the Designated Catholic tomorrow?

Betty: Sweet! Gonna give her my envelope right now!

Sue: Hell yeah! While you do that I'll make us some more shots:)
by suziewar September 22, 2011
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Providence Catholic

Providence Catholic somewhere where you can repeatedly be told that we’re all a family for only 12 grand a year. The disciplinary guidelines are so ridiculous that you’ll feel your a citizen in North Korea, unless of course your a wrestler. The faculty will tell students that you have a leg up on everyone else because you go to providence as students will flee from the school freshman year on because of how much easier it is to succeed at any other school. Be prepared to sit through way too many student council assembly’s throughout the year even though the only say they have in anything is what color streamers the Christmas Dance (that no one will go to ) will have that year.
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Closet Catholic

Someone that secretly believes in the Catholic faith,but does not officially convert to it.
protestant 1 : my fellow protestant friend is explaining how saints and catholic theology actually works and he is not even catholic.

protestant 2 : maybe your fellow protestant friend, is maybe a Closet Catholic.
by 777Boy July 11, 2022
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Lazy Catholic

A term used to describe Methodists, especially United Methodists, due to the fact of having many Catholic traditions, but not being part of the Roman Catholic Church.
Jane is a Lazy Catholic, her church has a minister instead of a priest.
by Lazy Catholic May 17, 2009
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